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31 years coaching experience/Worked Camps/Clinics on 6 Continents

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Words We Use

I have read often about motivation, what can I do to motivate someone whether it be a basketball player or a person?  Even myself...what words can I use or say to motivate myself?  I have found that words are powerful.  When coaching the words you use can pump a kid up or break them down (sometimes they both are necessary).  The words you use can leave an indelible mark on someone when you don't even realize it and I think that is why we need to be careful and think about this.  We need to make a concentrated effort because we not only are tearing a kid up, but we offend others when we don't even realize it.

With the advent of social network sites, now the written word can have as much motivation as the spoken word.  I know I have been questioned about what I have written about in the past, and I am fine with that.  A little accountability is nice and you can rest assure if I have written or spoken it, I have thought about it...a little.  It is amazing to me how many people personalize what I write about.  Not everything I write about is over an issue with myself.  Often it is, but many times it is over issues other people are dealing with and that I can relate to.

However, I am starting to understand in a little more depth the words I use in any forum and how they affect others.  It is good because I often feel that I am being held to a higher standard for what I say or write than what others are, but that is an incorrect way of looking at things.  I should only be looking from an individual perspective.   What am I saying or writing and should I be doing it?  Am I not being clear enough in what I say and write?  And should I care about some of the words I use as I am writing to be honest.  Obviously I am not intentionally trying to hurt anyone as I am sure many times when I hear what has been said about me....they aren't intentionally trying to hurt me or even wanting me to hear about it, but it happens.

Yes, other coaches have said derogatory things about me and my program, about me and my town, and that may upset me at times, but it has never caused me to forget that we all make mistakes.  It hasn't caused me to forget that I have said things I shouldn't have in the past (I am trying to be better).  Yes, other coaches have called me out on my behavior, and I think in the past I was angered by it, but now I understand that it isn't about the person pointing out the flaw, but it is the flaw...in myself. 

Do I feel like I am being held to a higher standard sometimes, sure, but when I clear my head and understand that the standard is what everyone should be held to, it makes more sense.  I don't mind accountability....I do not want to be at worst a hypocrite, at least someone not trying to put his words and actions in line.

The worst thing I think we can do is point and say "you know, I may be wrong, but I am not as bad as that person".  We are too often focused on the actions of others when we should be focusing on the actions of ourselves.  I realize that I am not perfect, don't claim to be, but I am trying to improve.  I have made mistakes in the past, making them right now, (I am sure someone will think this blog entry is about them, it isn't, it's about me), and I can guarantee you that I will make them in the future.  Not because I am vindictive, but because I am a human being.  I can only hope those I offend will try to forgive as hard as I do.