relationships

relationships
National Anthem before Henryville at Silver Creek game

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Day 30: When You Run Your Mouth



Day 30:

At the writing of this entry, IU mens' basketball team lost at Purdue in January of 2015. I have changed greatly from my youth in that when I was younger, I would talk lots of smack before big games and after. I would love to rub it in. But what I found is that I can't take it; at all. When my team would lose in those big games and the fans of the other side would decide to dish out a little of what I had given, I would get mad easily. Part of that is because of my personality, but also because I can be a sore loser.

So I learned to keep my mouth shut and try to be honest and humble before and after my team would win. This is a completely personal thing. Maybe you can do all of the talking and not get upset when the result you predicted doesn't work out that way, but maybe you cannot. I would learn that early, but I would also be careful who you do this with. Some people are like me and do not want to be bothered after a loss by the fans of the other side, and maybe you are causing some psychological pain to that person. Who cares! Who cares? Fan is short for fanatic and some people deserve grace after a loss in a big game, so why not show them how to win with class....or not, it's up to you.

Challenge; Really, I have none today. You just need to think how you want to handle these situations and it is different for everyone.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Day 29: Get it Done



Day 29:

Get it done. If you are like me, I schedule just a little too much in each and every day. I schedule just a little too much in each and every week which leads to months and years. First, make sure that in that scheduling that you put some quiet time, some alone time, some time with your family and some time for fun.

But this is about getting "it" done. First thing I do each morning is to write down a list of things that I have to get accomplished that day. Some people do it the night before, I do it that morning. Then I try to combine these things as much as possible. My room is far from the office and the basketball office where I spend much of my time. When I leave my room, I try and make sure that I can get multiple things accomplished so that I do not have to walk back and forth. There is a lot of time wasted walking back and forth.

However, when those moments occur and you have forgotten something and have to back track, use that time. Do not get frustrated and have a black cloud hanging over you do something else. That something else for me is thinking. I think too much as it is, but it is in those moments that I try and focus less on the frustration of "wasting a trip" and more on how beautiful my wife is, how wonderful she is, or something about the kids that brings a smile to my face. Or, I start thinking two steps ahead to what I need to get done once this task is finished.

Challenge: If you feel overwhelmed, organize. Not every part of your life has to be organized, but the parts that matter probably should be. Start today to get it done.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Day 28: What You Surround Yourself With, You Will Become



Day 28:

1 Corinthians 15:33 says "Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals." Proverbs 13:20 says "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." These are just a couple of verses that reinforce what I believe. You become what you surround yourself with.

It is not fair and you can choose to deal with the consequences, but the people you surround yourself with, you become associated with. If they are not seen as "good" people, you will be labeled with them too. I have told my students this often and as teenagers tend to do, get frustrated that it happens. Then I ask one simple question, "what if my wife or one of my close friends was arrested for drug usage?" Would they not believe that I knew or was involved? Would they not think less of me? All say they would assume I at least knew about it, and a large majority agree that they would think less of me.

But it is not just people. Keep positive things around you. From scripture to people, to things that are good, keep your eyes on those things. Colossians 3:2 states that we should set our "minds on the things above, not on earthly things." Do you do that? Do I do it? I try, but I have found that when I am intentional in doing so, my starts off much better and I stay in a better frame of mind. There are enough problems to deal with every day, we should try as much as possible to do as Colossians 3:2 states...set our minds on things above; Jesus!

Challenge: Pick up your Bible, blow the dust off, open it to anyplace in the New Testament, read the text and then go to the Internet and look up the interpretation of what you have read.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Day 27: Be the Remnant



Day 27:

As our society continues to "progress" more and more of what we believe to be traditional values will continue to erode to be negative. Just the term "traditional values" has a negative connotation. But as our society continues, you can better believe that which we hold true will be questioned. I see it as a 45 year old man and my grandfather 40 years ago saw it.

Do I believe that we should not change and progress? Of course not, but not all change is good or, more debatable, right or correct. You must hold on even when you face the waves and waves of those who question your rock solid values. You must prepare yourself for those who will attack you verbally and call you all kinds of negative terms in hopes of shutting you up. There is a form of censorship going on, often by those who claim to love freedom of speech, to stop you from disagreeing with their ever "progressive" claims.

In the Old Testament, there are numerous stories in which the people of YWHW have turned from Him and "doing what is right in their eyes". Yet, there is always a Remnant, a small group who is continuing to live the way they have been called to live. They may be a little off, but their over all society has continued living correctly a midst an ever changing society, one that has rotted and decayed to the point of having to be done away with.

You have to be careful in quoting the Bible and taking it out of context, but I came upon a verse from Jesus in Matthew when he speaking to the disciples. Matthew 17 "O unbelieving and perverse generation, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?!" I believe that last question is an important one for us to think about. How long...how long?

Challenge: Think about your values, have they changed? Why? Is it because of peer pressure? Is it because some outside influence that does not agree with your life has advocated it?

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Day 26: Don't Assume, but I Can See What You are Saying



Day 26:

You will find as you spend more time around people that you can read their body language. You can read how they hold their head, hold their hands, how they stand with you, and especially the looks on their faces. They will not have to utter a word, but you will get it.

But, don't assume. It is a hard job to do not to assume anything, but there is a fine line between being smart and being a smart alack. By assuming nothing, it sometimes can come off as blatant arrogance or blatant ignorance, it is a fine line you will walk.

So you have two choices as you interact with people; you can withdraw and have nothing to do with them or as little as possible, or you can interact, read the body language, and assume. Both choices will cause some embitterment and confusion, you have to find what is right for you. However, I do believe to love others, you have to interact, but I do understand that some days that's just not high on your agenda.

Challenge: Try, try, try not to assume too much because those assumptions can play out in your head and they very well could be wrong.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Day 25: Patience Young Grasshopper



Day 25:

Okay, I am the most guilty person ever when it comes to a lack of patience with just about any given situation at any given time. These entries are not to show you how perfect I am, they are to guide you into what should be. So, yes, I am awful when it comes to being patient. I have been told that I believe that there is a certain way to do, well, anything, and I struggle with it when it is not done that way. That is the first step in the right direction. Awareness.

But what I want you to remember is this, what we get the most frustrated over (lack of patience) often has little to nothing of importance about it in the grand scheme of things. Yes, we should have high expectations for ourselves and others, and yes a job must be done correctly, but when you are letting it affect your relationships as well as yourself, it is time to step back and take a deep breath.

I often think that I slide between being overly frustrated to too laid back. The laid back is the side I would like to error on when it comes to most things, especially my own children. But laid back are not often words that describe me. But I am trying, and I hope that you are too.

Challenge: One time today, just once, stop...take a deep breath...and let it go.