Friday, April 10, 2015
Life as a Parent in Indiana
I don't really grade myself as a father, but I think I do "ok" most days, but I feel more as a failure each day in last few weeks. I think my biggest regret is that I lose my patience with them too fast, too soon.
I realize that they cannot be perfect, and I want them to enjoy being young, but there are some basics I want followed. Do what their mother and I say when we say it and get their homework done, rooms cleaned in an orderly fashion. Is that asking too much?
But they don't do it because, well, they're kids. Then my wife gets upset, then I get upset and then I am afraid I am hurting their confidence in explaining to them that their behavior is unacceptable. What is absolutely crazy is that in some of our worst moments where I feel they aren't living up to a bare minimum acceptance is when they get complimented by others for their behavior or responsibility.
To be real honest, lately, I feel worthless and that I am doing more damage than I am building up. I realize that I am not alone in this and that many parents feel the same way, but these are mine...I love them more than my own life and hope I am not screwing them up too badly.
But are my expectations too high? Probably and I am struggling to find the line of letting it go and holding them accountable.