How often do we take the time to help others? How often do we take the time to even think about helping others? I am going to bet through personal experience and educated observation, not often for many of us. I know how hard trying to overcome selfishness can be because I do it daily. I have found that having children helps in this somewhat because every single day you practice giving to your children. If not, you aren't a very good parent.But how often do we give with someone other than our own children?
It's funny how I personally developed. In my decade before the teen years, I was full of confidence. I was invincibile. I could jump ramps with my bicycle, play baseball or basketball all day, eat when I was hungry, fall out of a tree, and get up and keep going. I never thought about tomorrow because tomorrow was so far away. Life was fun and much of that is due to how great my parents were, but it is also because you are so young and don't know about the fears and worries of the world. I know we sometimes had money issues growing up, but I never knew about them and even if I did, I wouldn't have known what it meant. Life was great.
As I entered my teen years, I dealt with what most teens do. Self-esteem issues. For reasons I won't discuss here, I didn't have much self worth which was really dumb on my part. The things that did bring me that self worth were sports. I can still remember scoring well in a basketball game and defeating a big rival in junior high, and having the varsity basketball players come up to me and give me recognition. It didn't matter that I may not have all of the friends or girlfriends, that mattered to me and made me feel good. Which fueled my personal effort to get better to get that kind of attention again and again. What is interesting is that attention often fueled even more people of my age group to do or say things which injured my self esteem even more which fueled my work ethic, and so on....
Then when I entered my 20's, which I wouldn't do over again, it was all about finding myself. I was so focused on trying to figure out who I was and what I was going to do for the rest of my life, I was pretty worthless in the "helping others" aspect of life. In my 20's I went from knowing everything, to realizing that I knew nothing, to going to college, to dropping out, to going back again, and trying to do all of that and find someone to be with.
In my early 30's, I started to figure it out sometimes. I got the job that I wanted for years, married a beautiful, very good woman, had 2 children, and found my faith in Jesus Christ. It was during the end of that decade and now (40) that I know longer think about myself as often. My legacy will not be what I win or lose, my legacy will not be the money I gave or earned, my legacy will have everything to do with what I gave back.
I have grown to know many people, some very well and some distant acquaintances. The legacy I want to give is to forget about my self as often as possible and to help others. Sure, there will still be hints of selfishness because I am human, but what can I do to help others achieve their dreams (that just sounds inherently selfish as if I can help, but I will try)? I have found that more often than not it isn't about the money that you give and more about the time you give. I know growing up that we often didn't have all of the money in the world, but my parents were there...all...the...time. I am so thankful for that.
When it comes to the high school basketball team, I have tried often to get them to understand the idea of giving. More often than not, it is discussion we have about how the younger kids look up to them. I will point out instances where they look at them as if they were some famous movie star and one of the best things the basketball players can do is to just say hello. I have had the guys sign basketballs for sick students, sign thank you cards, attend showings at funerals, read to the elementary students, and thank fans individually and collectively for supporting us. I hope that it helps them to "get it" earlier than I did.
So, what will be your legacy of giving? Because I really believe that is what it is about. If you are a young person, be better than I was. Work on yourself, but find times and instances to give back to others. And if you are older and you haven't figured out yet that it isn't about you, then keep searching because it isn't about you....it really isn't.
