30 years coaching experience/Worked Camps/Clinics on 5 Continents

Friday, January 16, 2015

Day 24: Beware the Red Flags

Day 24:

When you fall in love, you see the person you are with as perfection. You may see their imperfections, but they are cute or adorable or, worse yet, you may think you can change them.

Choosing a spouse is so important. We often left "love" choose for us and you should definitely feel something for the person, but each relationship will have red flags, issues that could become a larger issue in the future.

I am divorced. I was married before I was a Christian to a very nice woman, but because we both we not ready and both ignored red flags, we proceeded to get married and it did not end well. There were no police orders or even children involved, but it still was the end of what was supposed to be a God ordained arrangement.

My current wife is really too good to be true. I do not know if God was looking out for me the second time, but I received a gift in her that I do not deserve. It was through her that I came to Christ and learned what true unselfishness is in human form. She is supportive, helpful, positive, and works diligently in her job, our marriage, and with our children.

When you are dating someone, usually after high school, you might hope that the relationship will go somewhere, will end in marriage. Do not get caught up in wanting to be married so much that you do not pay attention to the red flags. Red flags are there in all relationships, we really only notice the worst ones post-relationship, but take heed.  I want to close by saying I do not have all of the answers for you in dealing with a potential spouse. What I am saying is be careful because they can make you miserable, or vice-versa, causing an end to something that was started with love and happiness on your wedding day.

Challenge: If your spouse is wonderful, make sure they know it. Leave a note, make a call, send an email, do not take it for granted. If you are miserable in your marriage, what have you done to help it? Remember why you wanted to marry the person in the first place and take steps back to finding that love that has been lost. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it. Especially if children are involved.