Day 20:
Most days with a little effort, life is what you make it. Most of us victimize ourselves for no apparent reason and are bitter, but it should not be that way. If you believe in God, you know that this world is not our home, but where we are passing through trying to help others until we go to heaven. If you are not a believer in God, it makes zero sense that you would be unhappy as you believe this is it, there is nothing else.
But even in those days when you are attempting to enjoy your life, you will have to do things that are not enjoyable. One of those things is the disciplining of my children. I hate it. Pure and simple, I get zero enjoyment out of it. I do not like one part about it and I probably go too far too many times. And when it is over, I feel terrible and like I have failed not just as a parent, but as a human being.
But...it is a necessary evil, I guess is the word. It is necessary. Discipline in all aspects of our lives is needed because if left to our own selfish wants and desires, we will usually do something we regret. Maybe not in that moment, but in the future. It is the same with our children. I realize that by providing discipline for my children, I am teaching them skills that will benefit them in the future, but I do not like it.
We will have to do many things in this life that we do not want to do, but they will be necessary for the betterment of us or other people. Many decisions are not easy and once those decisions are made, you have to deal with the ramifications and sometimes, just sometimes they are not enjoyable.
Challenge: Embrace the struggle. You are not alone and most of us are struggling with many of the issues that you are enduring. The challenge is to find someone not connected to your family (don't pick a spouse or grandparent) that you feel you can talk with about your concerns.
