Saturday, December 13, 2014
Day 5: I Still Don't Want to Get Going
Ok, you have tried some of the things I have written about. You have gotten up and gotten moving, you have started reading about inspirational people, and yet, you still cannot find the desire to move. I get it, suffering from anxiety or worse yet, depression, can remove that flicker of light from your life. Both are normal parts of life, however, if you notice yourself staying in bed too long or a general feeling of "blah", do something about it.
I believe that you cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. I used to think that through pure mental toughness, you could over come anything negative. Then when I was 43 an EF 4 tornado passed over the high school I was teaching at and had a real near death experience. It was not like falling out of bed fear, but an actual "this is it" type moment as the school was completely destroyed. At first, I was fine, I felt I was invincible, then came the severe anxiety and then depression which I still suffer from time to time.
I felt helpless and out of control, I was not able to control my reaction to what happened to me and then through that perceived weakness, I sought help. I went to my medical doctor for medication and to counseling to get some of this off my mind. It helped, a lot. I was able to move on through much work and prayer. It was one day at counseling that I was not weak because I could not control how I reacted to this event, in fact, I was controlling it by accepting that I needed help.
Philippians 4:8 from the (NIV) "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." In the times of the worst anxiety, I would sing a song lyric: "lead me to the cross, where I first found love"(I don't even know if that is the correct verbiage). I would keep my mind on the most true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable thing I could think of...Jesus.
Challenge: Do something daily that brings a smile to your face. Listen to music, watch kids be excited, or watch a funny movie. Do something that helps you remember that living is a good and fun thing.