.JPG) |
| (The Godfather of Indonesian Basketball) |
In coaching, we deal with many, many issues. The issues we deal with are so numerous that it can feel like a 200 lb. weight on your shoulders sometimes, most of the time. But the issue that wore on me the most was dealing with other people who were negative. And I probably, in 7 years, had two face to face confrontations. It was the negativity online and veiled comments that you knew were about you on facebook and twitter that were brought to my attention that finally wore me down. I decided that the negativity was something I didn't want to deal with anymore, no matter the reason for it.
Negative people who attack are often not happy with some other element in their life that they cannot control, so they take it out on you. I would say that 95% of the attacks on me as a coach were because of this issue. People who could not control some issue of their life or someone who controlled zero issues in their life and they felt attacking me either online, face to face, or spreading negativity to other people gave them power.
I know this because in coaching at a smaller school I knew what most of the parents or fans were going through in their own lives. And what they were dealing with was hard, no doubt, we all deal with issues in life that are not good sometimes. They were able feel strength doing this to someone who wanted nothing but the best for their child. But it is part of it, it is part of coaching and you either learn to deal with it or get out, I chose to get out....for now.
It is interesting that many of these people who cause issues with their words, whether written or spoken, are also the first to get upset when it is done to them. James 3:8 says no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. I could not agree more. I know that when I am frustrated with issues at work, I have to make a concentrated effort to not take it out on my wife and kids. It is a weakness in every single human being. Really bad things are done to people every day, but something that we all struggle with on a day to day basis is our words.
As a coach, I tried to remember that people who attacked me in some way were dealing with something in their own lives and they felt they were able to vent on me, usually in a passive-aggressive way. I tried to remember that people weren't mad at playing time, or shots taken, they were mad at ex wives/husbands, their children, or their own parents. They were mad, all right, but they really weren't mad at me....or maybe they were.
