While driving to work this morning, I got to thinking about some of my former players. Some of them I talk to on a semi regular basis and some I rarely see or speak to. To be honest, the ones I do speak to usually approach me or I happen to see out at some event. Part of that is that I am still doing what I did when they played and part of it is they are living their lives, not doing what they did when they played. I have always invited at the end of year speech in the locker room and even when I coached baseball, that any player that graduates is welcome anytime, any place in our program. If they want to just show up and watch practice, they can. If they want to just show up and come into our locker room before or after a game, they can. I don't get hung up too much anymore on that stuff and I feel that if a player was once a part of your program, they are always a part of your program.
Coaching basketball, I have found two types of former players. Some of it comes as a former player. I know that some of my old teammates are like this and I have experienced it from the other side also. There are those teammates of mine that are hugely supportive of our old coach, that he changed their lives, and they now understand why he was the way he was. There are those who are still bitter about not playing, about being yelled at, about not being used correctly. So I wonder how many of my former players are the same way.
We spend so much time together during their time here that I care so much about what they are doing after they leave. Some of they may resent me for whatever reason, but if they call, I will be there. If they send an invitation, I will be there. Of course, it would be contingent on if I could possibly get there, but I would never turn down helping a former player. To be honest, sometimes that help may not be what they want at the time, but I would help.
So you wonder, why doesn't such and such come around? Why doesn't such and such come to practice? Why do they feel like they are not a part of it even after they are gone? I think some of it has to do with our relationship, but I think also it has something to do with their comfort level. That it is not their team anymore, yet it is their program.
So for any former player, I told you this in the locker room your senior year and I am telling you now. You are welcome back any time as long as I am here coaching. Please contact me and tell me about your marriages and births and you starting to coach in little league. Contact me to tell me thanks and contact me to ask me why...I am secure enough in telling you why we did what we did and I am secure enough to admit my mistakes if I think I made them. When the guys play their last game for me, I keep a picture of each senior class. It isn't them in their uniforms, it isn't them in the gym, it isn't them with a basketball, it is them together outside of the school in their graduation gowns and hats. To me that is what we are doing here. We are preparing them to move on, to live their lives; lives that I am interested in and what to know more about.
