As I have grown stronger in my faith, I am noticing changes in myself. The biggest one as of today is the ability to worry less. The ability to not take words, thoughts, or other negative stuff so personally. Except...it seems that some people, usually non believers/angry people, are attacking me more often. I can take it, but still have prideful issues of being considered ignorant, stupid, dumb or being looked down upon intellectually. Or being looked down as not being positive which I believe both are not true.
I feel that online there many people who read my stuff just to nitpick, go through each line and try to attack anything that they don't like or agree with. For some reason, I can put up with 50 attacks, but then one will upset me. Usually because, like I used to do, it is a cheap shot, or they are trying to frame me into something that they can better...um...dislike or understand. So, when I get upset, I am "losing" for lack of a better word. One thing that I have found is that I can usually get past it quicker than in the past, and I also find that when I confront these people in a private message or face to face, their attitude is much different. It is like they are trying to frame their own identity online into what they want to be, but not actually who they are.
I guess it is easier to write sentences and believe them than to actually believe in something and then write sentences.
Usually it is done by younger people who are struggling with who they are what they believe in, but it does come from older non believers sometimes.
But it isn't about me. I am learning to let it go. I am learning to understand that they are the one struggling, not me, at least in this situation. And I understand that by doing that, by pushing my buttons, they are actually helping me grow in my faith. I am not rejecting my beliefs because of them, it actually moves me closer to God.
John 15:18
