relationships

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29 years coaching experience/ 7 years as a varsity boys' basketball coach, now assisting

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Feeling Blessed

Over the last three weeks, my family has undergone some major issues when it comes to surgery.  First and foremost, my 30 year old sister in law was double transplanted (heart and kidney) and is doing fine.  Her initial check showed moderate rejection, but her check up yesterday showed 0% rejection.  It is quite likely that should could be home in the next week or so, just a month after having a heart and kidney transplant.

On a much smaller scale, I had hernia surgery over our fall break.  Yes, I know I don't get the sympathy I probably would have gotten if I weren't competing against the walking miracle that is Megan, but I am ok with that.  However, any kind of surgery can make you evaluate your life, where it is and what's important.  Though my surgery was much smaller, I had the exact surgery about 15 years ago and had a reaction to a drug used in the anesthesia.  To make a long story short, I woke up after the surgery paralyzed, yet could hear everything going on.  So as I entered the small surgery I had, that was in the back of my mind.

Anesthesia is a funny thing.  When I was  younger, I thought it was cool or fun if you were put under, as I have gotten older and after my experience, I realize how serious going under can be.  The anesthesiologist holds your life in his hands.  When I woke up from the surgery, I can remember being so thankful.  Thankful for my wife, kids, the anesthesiologist, the surgeon, the attending nurse, breathing, smiling, just about everything.  I am sure that the anesthesia had something to do with that, but I was just joyful.

It was a weird feeling because we had prayed so much for Megan for myself that I wasn't quite sure what I actually wanted when it came to the outcomes of these surgeries.  I guess, more importantly, God's will.  Of course, I wanted her to be better and I wanted to come out of my surgery fine, but I had come to grips with the realistic idea that one of us might not make it.  Once she was awake and improving, I prayed for the strength to get through what we were dealing with, but also to handle God's will.  I have grown so much in my faith the last few years, it almost seemed like a natural progression for me to go home and my growth be used to help others, most importantly my family.

If you ask me, I want to live, watch my children grow up, become parents, and spend time with my wife.  If you ask me, I want to go on vacations, visit continents, all 50 states and be husband, dad, basketball coach, friend and mentor and whatever I am called to be.  But if you ask me if I am ready to die and go home, I wouldn't pick it as my first choice in the many things left to do in life, but I would be ok with it....as long as it weren't painful.  So I guess I just may not be ready after all.