Coach Them Like I Would Want My Own Child Coached...OK...Maybe Easier

Last Saturday in the youngest group of our intramurals, we had a boy who did not want to participate.  He was crying and his parents finally took him out, probably angry, I don't know I didn't see it happen.  You know that the basketball form went home for intramurals and the boy wanted to play.  Mom and/or dad probably said "Are you sure? We aren't going to pay for this and you back out."  Then they get to camp and it can be overwhelming.

It happens every year.  Some child cannot handle all of the balls bouncing around, all of the kids running around, and all of the noise.  The first 5 minutes or so, we let them have a good time trying to get some of the nervous energy out.

BP (Before Parenting) I wouldn't have too much patience for a kid like that.  "Get out here and let's go, quit acting like a baby!!!"  AP (After Parenting) I see it a lot different.  I can understand how it can be overwhelming to a young kid especially one not around that type of stuff consistently.  My own son last year (and he is around this kind of thing a lot) was so overwhelmed that he decided after one day he was finished with basketball camp (that has since changed, he is going crazy having fun with that and soccer, yes Coach Lefevre...soccer).  But I can say that when dealing with my own children, I am still BP acting, but when it comes to other people's children and watching the parents of these kids, I am very much AP.

I feel for the kid, but I feel for the parents.  Being a parent is quite a confusing thing, for me any way.  You want them to be tough and independent, but yet still want them to cling to your leg and need you and if we could pick the times of what and when we wanted the behavior it would be better.  But we can't, they are little kids.  They are the ones in charge of their behavior and often it doesn't quite mix with what we want at that point and it can be embarrassing and cause you to get angry.

So what do we do?  I try to make it better for all involved.  If the parents want their money back, we give it and keep them on our birthday list.  If they don't come back one single day and don't want their money back, I will find the child and give them their shirt that they bought and keep them on our birthday list.  And this week, I went and found the boy gave him one of our basketball bracelets and told him we wish to see him at the next camp date.  Will it help?  I don't know, but it is how I would want my child treated and that is the kind of coach I have developed into....mostly.