I deal with criticism in different ways. I can't explain why, but sometimes certain criticism stings and some times it doesn't. Again, I can't explain it, but sometimes it bothers me. I think the criticism that bothers me most is by people who are coaching or have coached, but have gone on to never been seen again. One thing you notice if you coach long enough is that there are people who don't care about the program (maybe a little, but mostly deciding if you are qualified for their future star), then they really care about the "program" for four years, and then you hear nothing from them again.What happens is that they care about the "program" only when their son is involved with the program. I get that, it does make complete sense to me, but it does make it harder to stomach while in the middle of a career in which there is an unrealistic expectation on their son because of where you know it is heading; them gone. Meanwhile we have been part of the program before, during, and after their son graduates. It also never ceases to amaze me how someone who coaches or has coached can be so vocally critical of other coaches on staff at their school in public. I have learned that you aren't going to agree with everything a coach does, but you will rarely hear me critisizing someone who is putting the time in to help my child.
The jealousy that occurs between players is nothing compared to the jealousies that go on between and among parents and coaches. Many coaches have told me they will never coach again anywhere than in an orphanage. That might seem like an ideal situation, but I have found (knock on wood) that most parents at the least will leave you alone if they believe you are working hard and being relatively fair.
Criticism does sting. It depends sometimes on my own thoughts on the person critisizing whether it bothers me as much or not. You have to take in whether it is someone who complains about every coach, or someone who clearly is worried not about the program, but about their own child. I do understand that better now that I have children. As I have written, at camps, I want to focus only on my own children, I have to force myself to go and help others. So I understand where this selfishness comes from with our own children.
When you decide to be a leader or coach a sport, you will be critisized, it is a part of it. There isn't any whining that goes on, but we as coaches have complained to each other at times. We are the ones who expected to be professional often holding back all of our thoughts and opinions so we have to vent to each other. But ultimately when you decide to coach, when you decide to be a leader do not sit in the big chair if you cannot handle criticism, some times extremely personal.
