Player, then Coach, now Parent of a Player

When I played (I hate it when I say that), I didn't know much.  Many people thought I was a "smart" player, but actually all I did was play.  That is until I got to high school and then I just did what my coach said to do.  It wasn't because I knew or understood the game any better than anyone else, it was because I was coachable...I did what I was told.  Okay, so maybe I was a "smart" player just for that.  I often heard parents yelling at officials, coaches, and, unfortunately, other players both on my team and on other teams.  You sometimes don't understand everything going on as a kid, but you soak it in.  You think some things are incorrect, but you respect the person yelling like a wild person, so it must not be too bad to act that way...?  Thankfully, I had my parents who would correct me (even though my mom could be a wild person..."love you mom").

Then when I decided to coach, my goal was to keep people at a distance so that I wouldn't have to deal with that negativity.  My first few years were brutal.  I coached the way I thought I had been coached and wasn't afraid to let go completely of all my frustrations on the players.  I coached as a person who did not have kids and was young and couldn't be told anything.  As the years passed, I started to understand that I needed to be a coach that used my personality best and not try to be someone I wasn't.  I still am not afraid to get on a kid or a team, but it is much more pulled back from the past.

Now, I am the parent of a player.  Watching my daughter participate in gymnastics and play on her coach pitch team, I am seeing experiences through yet another perspective.  First, I am probably as bad as a parent can be in not giving proper credit to their kid for success.  My daughter has been a good athlete in 4 sports so far, I will congratulate her on good stuff, I will not go over the top on simple stuff (my joke at her coach pitch events is the 4 most spoken words at the games are "good", "job", "nice", "try", in any variation of those words). 

The coach of her coach pitch team is a volunteer.  A...vol...un...teer.  He is giving up his free time to try and help our kids out as much as possible.  I haven't always agreed with what he has done and even grown frustrated, but then it dawned on me, he is a volunteer.  He chose to work with the kids, I didn't.  I want to watch and be dad for this short time.  So, to him and the other coach, I say thank you.  Thank you for putting the time in, thank you for keeping your patience waaaaaay more than I would with a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds.

Last night, he grew increasingly frustrated with our team.  He definitely raised his voice, but he was coaching, and was coaching something important with baseball.  The players need to know where the ball is at all times.  First, it will help you be a better player, but second, it is a safety issue.  If you are not paying attention to where the ball is, it could very well end up along side your head. As he was loudly trying to get our team to focus, and some individuals in particular, I found myself laughing.  Not getting upset, but then I got that feeling of uncomfortability that I get when I might smack Brandon on the hands in public.  That feeling not that something wrong has been done, but that many people will take something that is not wrong and blow it out of proportion.

It happened.  Our coach was verbally accosted by a parent after the game, and I felt for him a little.  He is a volunteer coach trying to improve 4 and 5 year olds (which improvement is being shown) being yelled at by a parent who did not volunteer to coach.  I felt for him because I know what he is doing and really all we need to do is say thank you to him for his time and efforts.  This isn't the majors, it isn't even high school ball.  After a short time, I walked up to him, shook his hand and thanked him, and that my wife and I did not have a problem with what he was doing.  I told him to feel free to coach my daughter anytime.

So now I face something that I knew would happen, I just hoped it would be farther into the future.  Do I cross over into yet another land that of "Coach of your Child"?  I don't want to coach my children at the games.  I want to watch them play.  I want to enjoy their experiences without me being on them all the time and let's face it, I will be much more critical of my own children than I ever will be of other people's children.  Would it help this guy out if I stepped in right now?  I have dealt with many issues and I may be able to calm this situation down...but that wouldn't be fair to him.  He has done the work, he deserves the credit...or criticism.