Help from the Outside

I have decided that if I am to share what it is like to be a basketball coach in Indiana, at a high school, I should share some of the things I deal with. Below is an anonymous email that I received from the past. When and by whom is irrelevant here.

"Hello Coach, after reading your posts on various websites, I seem to get the impression that you are very passionate about coaching and teaching the kids about basketball. I'm not sure if this teaching/coaching involves lessons in life and life after basketball, but as a role model/mentor to the kids on your teams, you have a very important impact on some of the decisions they may make off the court. Most of the kids who play basketball seem to make it their life and don't want to do anything to jeopardize their participation in it. However, whether its turning a blind eye to it or lack of involvement in some of their lives, it seems to me that some of the players are getting involved in Smoking Marijuana, and/or other drugs, and still allowed to be a part of the team, which is not putting the team first. I know for a fact that 4 players have been arrested in recent months for possession of marijuana and some are still allowed to be an integral part of the team. I'm sure there are others now and in the past. Like I said, I'm not trying to lay any blame on you or the staff, but like I said, if the players know what is expected of them, (like immediate dismissal from the team for such violations) they may be alittle more likely to stay on the right track, instead of making a decision that could forever impact their lives. These kids may not have alot of positive impact in their home lives, and just may look up to you and the staff as Mentors and guidance to do the right thing if you put a strong enough emphasis on it. If nothing else it will show how important basketball is to them if they chose to still do what they know could cost them their spot on the team."

Thanks for your time...."A Concerned Fan"

My response:
First, the anonymous aspect of this email bothers me. If you are concerned, talk to me as a person, face to face.

Second, as long as I have coached, kids are doing things they are not supposed to be doing, and if caught have been dealt with accordingly. We have given second chances to many people throughout my career who have made mistakes. In fact, I played with people who were doing things they shouldn’t have…and if we sat everyone or got rid of everyone who we thought was doing something wrong with little proof other than anonymous emails, there wouldn’t be many left playing. With minors, if they don’t admit to doing something wrong, we usually don’t know about it or can do anything about it. To be honest, if kids are arrested, if kids are caught doing things and I hear about it, I do go to the player immediately and confront them. I have run teams for rumors that are going around the school and suspended players for things we know as opposed to assuming.

Third, you assume that we do not speak with these kids constantly about their decisions and what they can lose, we do.

Fourth, you assume that I don’t do some things as a coach that I do whether with integral players or people who have had personal issues off the court. I do.

Fifth, if you know for a fact, I will definitely investigate two of the players you have mentioned, and one of the players has been caught and dealt with and you will see in future games. One player quit the basketball team over Christmas Break….he is not a basketball player, but I still care about him as a person.

Sixth, walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you begin to assume that you know everything about what you perceive to be true. Often the truth is not what you perceive.

Thanks for the concern. I often think that teachers, coaches, administrators are held to higher standards than parents. I have yet to have a parent come to me and tell me that their kid is doing something they shouldn’t and that they, the parent, is pulling them off the team….has NEVER happened.

Again, thanks for the concern and I will be asking the players you mentioned about your accusation. If so, they will be dealt with…it is the first I have heard about it.

The anonymous emailers response:

Thanks for the reply coach, I wasn't sure you'd take the time to reply due to the anonymous nature, can't afford the backlash that might come with me bringing these issues to your attention. I am a firm believer in random drug testing in the workplace as well as in schools if a student wants to participate in extra-curricular activities. If we wait until they graduate school before we start holding them accountable, its already way too late due to the fact that some kids are experimenting with drugs as early as 8th grade and less and by the time they graduate (if they graduate) they are so addicted to them that there is not much chance of getting them any help. I know this isn't an option as it would open you/the school up to many lawsuits, but I wonder if you mentioned that you were going to start random testing (even though you and I know you can't, but students probably don't know it) how many sick looking faces you'd see, or how many kids might quit the team. I'm sure if you confronted the players about their arrest they denied it, and I guess on a technicality they wouldn't have been lying. Don't get me wrong, I too believe in second chances and all, but if a slap on the wrist is all thats given, their is no lesson learned, nor any reason to think about quitting the very addictive habit if their is no worry about punishment. Again, I'm not criticizing you or the staff for anything you do, I just wanted to bring it to your attention in case you weren't aware of it. I'll leave you alone now to do your job which by the way, I think you do well, and NO I wouldn't wanna walk in your shoes because as you can see, I don't have the patience and like you mentioned Henryville probably wouldn't have a team.

My response today is different than at the time. I really believed that this person wanted to cause problems or had some motive that wasn't coming through in the email, however, reading it now, I believe that it may have been they were trying to help. And they had an agenda.