1 Kings 19:4 “but he went on a day’s journey into the wilderness. He sat down under a broom tree and prayed that he might die. He said “I have had enough Lord, take my life…”
I am not sure that everyone has ever prayed that they wanted to die, but I am sure that most of us, if not all, have been at the end of our ropes. Even Elijah the Prophet had his moments where he was done with it. We may not have wanted to die (we may have), but we have wanted to quit moving forward or even questioned God’s plan for us.
Who of us has never been so down it could be called depression? We deal with anxiety or panic attacks and often feel that as a believer in Christ, it shouldn’t happen, but it still does. I think it is important to remember Elijah and Job who in Job 7:6-7 says “My days pass, they come to an end without hope. Remember that my life is but a breath, my eye will never again see anything good” when we come to these own moments in our lives.
Elijah and Job’s scriptures do not sound like people who are just “down” or in a bad spot right now. It reads as if they have entered real, legitimate depression.
Maybe you have been victimized by the church or by yourself that you should be a better believer, you should pray harder, etc, but it important to know that you may be doing exactly what you should be doing. Often, especially here in this country, we are so individualistic that we won’t allow others in, we think we can do it on our own and when it doesn’t work the way we think it should, we begin to doubt ourselves and our faith.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust the Lord with all your heart and DO NOT RELY ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING…”
Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts….so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Because of our selfish ways in this fallen world, we often pray to God and if our desires are not immediately met, we think there must be a disconnect with God. We believe that he must not be hearing us. There is a disconnect, all right, but it isn’t God not hearing us, it may be us not paying attention to his answer which we may not like.