I Am Selfish

Coach Don Meyer has said that the best way to say thank you to a mentor is to serve others. I couldn't agree with that more. I have tried for many years to push the "me" out of what I do. For so long, I did stuff because it either made me feel good or it made me look good. It still happens, but I have tried to make it less and less about me.

I think growing in my faith has helped, as well as my wife and children. I want to help others be successful.

But, every once in awhile the selfish part of me rears its ugly head. Probably more than it should....definitely more than it should.

Since I have become the head coach at HHS, I have spent hundreds if not thousands of my own money on improving our program and helping our players. I have spent much time counseling players on personal issues, often things I probably don't need to know. From issues with girlfriends to home lives, I have heard much.

The 16 hours I worked one day during Thanksgiving Break and the three days I worked many hours can never replace the time of being with my family. Running intramurals on a Saturday morning, practicing for 2 hours Saturday afternoon, driving an hour away to get a game tape, then heading to scout a game....all by myself and not seeing my family can never be replaced.

The stress and pressure of trying to be fair to every kid when it comes to playing time, discipline, getting them involved, counseling, and about every other way and trying to win games is something that can not always be enjoyable. Especially when I get home and have to kiss my own children good night when they are asleep.

I am not writing this to whine, or complain. I am writing this for perspective...for me. I know I fail, probably daily on trying to do what is right for every single kid in the program. Doing that is all I can do.

In the Grand Scheme of Things

I try to be a self aware person. Always thinking and thinking about my thinking, yea, it is more complicated to explain than it actually is; I am a simple kinda guy. But one of the things I have found as I have gotten older is what does anything mean in the grand scheme of things.

Basketball...I/we put so much time into it that it is bound to hurt when the success, as defined by the world, doesn't come or come quickly. You are bound to grow frustrated, angry, and have feelings of doubt.

I told my wife last night that I feel the last two years, I have taken too long to find my balance on the season. Last year, we had a returning group of guys and I may have been too laid back. I enjoyed everything about the young season except for a couple of losses, that to be honest, were going to happen unless we played much better, earlier than I thought we could.

And this year, we had few guys back (only one starter), and I may have been too hard on them. Practice was not fun, and the games have not always been fun. In our 2 wins, we played just bad enough to keep games close and in our 3 losses, well, they haven't been close.

So what does it all mean in the grand scheme of things. Probably that I am not a very good coach and that I am struggling to find what this years team will be. I am probably worrying too much about how it will make me look which is entirely an incorrect feeling.

I can say this if the guys will work hard like they have in 10 of our 20 practices and 2 of our 5 games, then I will enjoy the year...win or lose. If they don't compete and strive to improve, I am afraid that I will lose my perspective on the importance of what I do.

All too often, however, something happens to smack your face and get your attention. Whether it be an illness, or a death. Recently, a former HHS student was found dead. This mother of two, both sons below the age of 2, will no longer be around to be a mom to her sons. Those sons will grow up never really knowing their mother.

Kinda makes you feel stupid for getting so upset about turnovers or shooting percentage. But that's what they pay me for, right? I think so to an extent, but to the extent that I am aggravated with my own children and not sleeping or eating...well, it is quite ridiculous.

Thank goodness for blogging. I feel that I am able to get some of these thoughts out of my head and onto this blog. I probably take myself too serious, but I am constantly striving to be a better person, coach, husband, and father. I need to set a better example consistently, I have to do it.

Behind, Always Behind

I often wonder if I am the only coach who feels that they don't have enough hours in the day to do everything we need to do. Teaching a full day and trying to do everything we do with the baksetball program seems to make me feel as if I always have too much to do.

My laptop where I convert the games from our digital camcorder to discs is not functioning correctly. So, I ended up about 5 games behind before I was able to rectify the situation. But that has put me in a catch up situation ever since.

From watching tapes, to statting them, to entering stats in the computer to watching other teams games, taking care of orders, getting money in from the players for various things and keeping everything clean and running smoothly, I feel....behind...all the time.

It will help when we get some time off for a couple of days, but we have played four games in week 1 of our season. We play on the road this Saturday and next Tuesday, then the following Friday. That is 7 games in the first week and a half. Then a week off game wise until a game then Christmas Break.

Pre game Practice

I have been coaching basketball for a long time, this is the 19th year overall, 6th as varsity coach. Every single year, I never know what we have going into the season. Sometimes you have a better understanding than in other years, but more often than not, you don't know until you play a game. Many times you don't even know until around January.

The pre game practices stand alone more often than not. The first two days are great because the guys are motivated and fired up for practice to begin. After that I have to motivate them to get better every day. Also, you never know what the guys are going through emotionally and are bringing that into practice.

The season begins and it seems you are never quite ready for the first game and as you build up about half way through, you usually take some days off over the holidays. When you come back, you have the second half blues. If you are doing well, they are lazy because they have forgotten what it took to get there, and if they are losing they often don't want to be there.

But those pre games practices are confusing. One day, you can think you will be really, really good, then the next day you wonder if you will win at all. I have learned to not over think it (as much as that is possible) and realize that I won't know anything until January...and then maybe later than that.

Basketball and Golf

As I have grown older I don't put as much pressure on myself to win, well, ok, I do want to win and I do put lots of pressure on myself to put my team in a position to win. But, winning doesn't identify me anymore. It used to be that if I didn't win, not only was I a loser, but I was somehow less of a person because of it. Not true now, I guess it comes with maturity, having children, and growing in my faith.

But, coaching basketball is very much like playing golf to me. In golf, I can play a bad shot, hole or round, but when you hit that next great shot (for me), play that next great hole, or a pretty good round, you are ready to go pro in golf. And then, just like that you want to quit.

Coaching basketball can be like that for me. We have a great practice, and I am motivated, positive and ready to go. Have a bad practice or two in a row and I often wonder why I can't get through to the guys and if I should contemplate doing something else.

It is in those moments of question and doubt where we are defined. Courage and motivation are not the absence of question and doubt, but acting in the face of those moments. And not acting to go through the motions, but to choose to be strong, courageous, and motivated when doubt is screaming in your ears.

Mental toughness is everything.

Scheduling

When trying to schedule basketball games, it is not as easy as it may seem. We want to play a tough schedule to make us better, but I also think we want to be competitive and win some games. I think that playing a tough schedule and not winning doesn't prepare you for post season success. If a team does nothing but lose, even if it is against great teams, doesn't build a winning mentality.

I had a coach once tell me that with a 20 game schedule, you want 5 you will have a hard time winning, 5 you will have a hard time losing and 10 that can go either way. That sounds good in theory, but so many teams are up and down that the number changes. There are some teams on our schedule that we beat often, but are better recently making it a game that could go either way, and vice versa.

Since I took over, we have removed some games that were regular wins, and replaced them with games that are in that middle ten. I am hoping that we continue to play a tougher schedule, but one that allows us to be successful. We are a 1A/2A school and have added 3A North Harrison, and a tournament with a very good 1A Edinburgh and Crothersville who is much better in recent years. Some of the teams we play were new schools and have now had time to become highly competitive.

Scheduling at a smaller school is harder because our own talent level could fluctuate from year to year. Again, I want us to be competitive against a relatively strong schedule. Last year, our schedule was ranked in the upper 5% of 1A teams, and we take pride in playing that schedule and staying competitive.

HENRYVILLE HORNETS
DATE OPPONENT
Nov. 23 at Silver Creek {3A} 7:30 pm
Nov. 27 Springs Valley Tournament
Nov. 30 Christian Academy {1A} 7:30 pm
Dec. 4 at North Harrison {3A} 7:30 pm
Dec. 7 at Charlestown {3A} 7:30 pm
Dec. 10 Austin {2A} 7:30 pm
Dec. 17 Lanesville {1A}‡ 7:30 pm
Dec. 29 Henryville Tournament
Jan. 8 at Trinity Lutheran {1A} 7:30 pm
Jan. 11 at Rock Creek Academy {1A} 7:30 pm
Jan. 14 New Washington {1A}‡ 7:30 pm
Jan. 21 Providence {2A} 7:30 pm
Jan. 22 at Borden {1A}‡ 7:30 pm
Jan. 28 at South Central (Elizabeth) {1A}‡ 7:30 pm
Feb. 4 Crothersville {1A}‡ 7:30 pm
Feb. 10 at Eastern (Pekin) {2A} 7:30 pm
Feb. 18 West Washington {2A} 7:30 pm
Feb. 25 Clarksville {2A}