Good Guys?

It is unpopular to state anymore, but there are good guys in this world and there are bad guys.

And the good guys are not the perfect guys, but they're still the good guys.

Have you ever noticed that the people who want a democracy (50% + 1) are those that are in the majority?

Oh, yea...just watch when they're not in the majority and how much they call certain issues "unfair", "discriminatory" and any other bad name you can come up with.

Yea, a democracy is nice if you're in the majority, but thank God we live in a Constitutional Republic where the majority can control issues, but the minority has rights and can be heard and can, through elections in states, etc gain an advantage.

It does not happen in any other country that is not the USA, Western Europe, Australia/New Zealand, and maybe a few South American countries.

Those places are majority rule and it is done by force.

That does not exist here.

If you think it does, you should visit some place outside of your bubble and better  yet, go live there for awhile.

It's probably actually cheaper to do so.

Then come back.

And.

Kiss the ground that you live on where freedom actually means something.

An Orphanage?

In 1996 and 1997, I had the privilege of working with Jim Mathews at New Washington High School in New Washington, Indiana for two seasons. Coach Mathews ended up winning a lot of basketball games, took his small school to success in the old one class era, and I was able to learn a lot about the game from him.

But in my, now, 33 years of coaching, I think this one quote from him rings true every single year. "Perry, the best place to coach is an orphanage." Me obviously looking perplexed because at the time, I had been coaching for only four years. "Why?" and his response...."No parents."

Now before you get offended if you're a parent you have to understand how much a head coach has to deal with. For every player there are at least on average two parents, probably more today. There are four grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, girlfriends or boyfriends and it's high school basketball in Indiana. Everyone is a fan or played and knows a lot about the game here, so everyone has an opinion.

I am a parent, so I get it.

We love our children and we want them to be successful and "get what they deserve" and not to be "treated differently".

So here's the problem that comes around each season.

If you're a freshman on the freshman team, you wonder why you're not on the junior varsity.

If you're a freshman on the JV, you wonder why you're not starting.

If you're starting, you wonder why you're not on the varsity.

If you're on the varsity, you wonder why you're not playing.

If you're playing, you wonder why you're not starting.

If you're starting, you wonder why you're not getting more shots.

And if you're getting a lot of shots, you wonder why any shot you take is a bad shot according to the coaches.

Now, you tell me where all this confusion comes from?

It is amazing how student athletes will do what they're told and do it to the best of their ability until outside influences start to get involved.

How do I know it happens?

Because I've been doing this for 33 years and I have children, and I hear what people tell my kids and it really is what Pat Riley calls 'the disease of me'.

We like to hear good stuff about ourselves and if what we hear isn't consistent with what is happening in my immediate situation, I start to question and doubt and be unhappy.

More often than not, student athletes don't realize they're supposed to be unhappy, they just know what they're hearing isn't consistent with what is happening.

And man...these kids do not want to let all of those outside influences down.

So an orphanage, huh? Nah, parents are awesome in how they're involved in their kids lives. 

Parents are awesome because they care and love their child and really do want what's best for the team (most of the time).

I just wish all of the outside forces would process what they're saying to kids because I really don't think they mean any harm, but it does make a coaches job harder.

But hey, that's why we/they get paid the big money.

So You Want to be a Teacher?

So you want to be a teacher?

Well, let me tell you a few things that they don't tell you.

No, it's not the money, it's not the student issues, or the parent issues, or dealing with admin who have forgotten what it's like to be in the classroom, you're told all that when you're going through college or at holidays if you have relatives that teach.

All the negatives you will just have to experience for yourself and you know full well what you're getting into.

However.

There are some things that they either don't tell you or you're not prepared for when you become a teacher.

Some of your students go home to horrific lives.

They're hungry, thirsty, emotionally neglected, physically neglected and you might just be the only person that shows consistent love for them. And when you find out the personal stories of some of your students, it will hurt you.

Some of your students are addicted to drugs and alcohol.

In 25 years of teaching, I still forget that this is the story. I see them as children who haven't had to deal with the horrors of addiction yet, but you'd be wrong to think that.

If you do the teaching job for too long, some of your students will die or commit suicide.

It's awful, but if you're doing your job correctly, it will be something that hurts you ever time it happens.

Some of your students will be involved in custody hearings, have their homes burn down, or lose everything.

As a teacher, and if you're doing it right, it will hurt your soul every time.

As a teacher, you will be dealing with life issues as well and those students will get you through some of the hardest times of your life, if you're doing it right.

Lastly, all of your students will remember you and you will remember them from time to time.

They will commit suicide, die, be incarcerated, be addicted, divorced, lose their own children, get cancer, be abused, be the abuser, commit murder and be murdered.

And it never gets easier to hear these things.

But....

Those current and former students will go on to do successful things and they will include you as inspiration and you may never know how to take it.

Take the good as you take the bad...into your very being because the good will more than equal the things that are negative, but the negative are so heavy.

So you want to be a teacher?

Know this if you're doing it right it's a caring lifestyle that will affect you daily, monthly and yearly.

And the things that will keep you up at night will not be lesson plans, lack of money (maybe) or admins that are doing the new data based educational "thing".

It will be the love of your students and how what affects them, affects you.

For the rest of your life.

I'm Just a Nobody But...(Coach Knight)

I grew up playing basketball in Indiana.

Henryville, Indiana to be exact.

Not quite sure I knew at the time how big of a deal that was, but I have as I grew up, aged, and traveled around the country and the world working basketball camps.

Being a basketball coach from Indiana is a big deal, and I cannot help but think that a lot of that comes from Bob Knight being the head men's basketball coach at Indiana University for so many years. People know him.

But I'm just a nobody. I was a decent high school player with a couple offers to go and play at smaller schools, not IU like I wanted. Something about not being good enough, I guess.

Then I started coaching and this is my 33rd year and let's say that I'm a better assistant than I was a head coach. As was pointed out recently on a message board dedicated to high school basketball (crazy, huh) it was pointed out that I was a sub .500 coach as a head coach at Henryville and I am just an assistant now, but people don't forget, or are able to look up the info.

But when I travel, and coaches find out I'm from Indiana...it's a big deal.

So I wasn't good enough to play at IU, I wasn't a great head coach, and I never met Coach Knight, so why am I writing about his influence on me?

Because...it's Coach Knight and Indiana basketball. 

Knight was the sort of person you thought would be around your entire life, kind of like your parents or God himself.

But growing up in Indiana during the 1970's and 1980's, Bob Knight's influence was everywhere in basketball. From his motion offense to his man to man defense, we all did something like it.

Coach Knight's attention to detail and scouting, it's funny, I was talking to Marty Simmons (former IU player) recently and I watch old games from Knight's years at IU and how they describe him as a genius. 

I didn't see it.

And I realized why.

My high school coaches were so influenced by him that the things we did here in Indiana are so ingrained that we take it for granted.

Sure, he had his downfalls, we all do, but one of the things he is critiqued over is his language and loud yelling.

Before our culture worried so much about mental health (and we should), and the feelings of everyone, Knight taught in way that was awful from the outside, and maybe worse from the inside, but in a way that prepared you for life.

And there is no one harder on you than life.

My high school coach, Terry Rademacher, was very similar to Knight at the high school level, and I am so glad that I played for a guy who held me accountable behavior wise and on the court.

I guess hearing of Coach Knight passing yesterday, November 1, really shook me up a little because he was such a huge figure in general, but with basketball being so important to me and my family, you can see his influence everywhere.

I pray for Coach Knight's family (it includes years of former players) and friends (it also includes former players), and I hope they can take some joy or satisfaction that Bob Knight was one of the best ever at what he did and influenced so many baskeetball players and coaches. 

Some that do not know they're being influenced even today.

Even a nobody basketball player and coach from Henryville.

Second Chances

 I have been reading and thinking a lot lately.

Most recently, hell, is there a second chance once we die and haven't accepted Christ?

It made sense to me that when you died without acknowledging that you have been saved, you would go to hell.

Not the hell of fire and brimstone, but of the concept of the total separation of God for eternity.

But then in my reading a couple things hit me like a sledgehammer between the eyes.

God is omnipresent, He is everywhere all of the time especially inside of us, so we can never be separated from Him, even in Hell.

And, He is a God of love and a God of second chances.

I am still not sure how I feel about this concept, but God is a God of love, compassion, mercy, always there for us.

And He is not like us when it comes to love, etc., He is an example of it that we cannot comprehend, it is that strong.

If you are like me, your first reaction to this is that it is wrong because, more often than not, that is how we are raised and led to believe and it makes complete sense.

But God's love doesn't make sense if you think about it enough.

And maybe that's what I have done here.

Humanity Matters

Illegal immigration...it's a problem. A major problem.

Two million illegals are coming into our country every year and they're entering other countries in Europe also.

How do I feel about it?

I mean, how can I be so against immigration and I am not especially legal immigration because at some point my ancestors felt same way these people are and hopped on a ship out of Europe.

I've benefitted from it.

But can we take them all?

No.

And even those who support illegal immigration have a point in which they are against it.

Unfortunately,  humans have become political pawns, but we've seen that everyone has a point of "it's too much".

As Texas and Florida have sent many of these people coming in illegally to places that were willing to let them come into our country, as they started to tax their area, they've changed their minds.

From Martha's Vineyard to sanctuary city New York, the politically supportive of open borders, suddenly change their minds when they are inconvenienced.

What do we do about it?

Well, we either have borders or we don't.

We have laws or we don't.

So I am supportive of laws beings enforced with our borders, but I am also supportive of helping the less fortunate.

Yea, I guess I'm not really taking a stand, I just want consistency from those who are in charge or support those in charge.

I want The Right to be more like Jesus in their dealing with this issue, and I want The Left to understand it's a major problems and their hypocrisies are shining through also.

Will that solve the problem?

How many problems are actually solved?

I just want logical empathy to rule the day and not for human beings to be used as political pawns...

By anyone.

E Piph A Ny

I have been down on USA Christians for awhile now.

We tend to not live like Jesus, we have led so many of us to believe that Jesus would be a Republican, we are not nice to people who are different from us and our presence on social media does not draw non-believers to want to follow Jesus.

It's true, but it hit me recently because I have felt my own heart harden and feeling distant from The Holy Spirit.

We surround ourselves with bitter, angry people because they are tired of being pushed around and told we are wrong and mocked, and ridiculed because we cannot believe or even understand the changes that are occurring in our culture.

And as we are pushed, mocked, and stand for what we believe in, our hearts harden.

In fact, there are people on social media and you may even have friends who like to troll you, they want to make you upset, they want you to behave the opposite of what Jesus would do, they get joy from it.

And it hardens our hearts more until this happens so much that we have descended into being angry, Republican Jesus followers...and that's just wrong.

Maybe that's not you, but I can tell you as I have wondered why God seems so distant from me, I realized how I have been the one who has traveled away from Him...God is not going anywhere.

So I am in the midst of heading back to Him.

I am trying to listen to more worship music, I am trying to not check Twitter or even read the negatives from any side on an argument, and I am trying to let the trolls, well, lose because they're not getting a reaction from me.

I am reading my Bible more, reading faith based books more, and trying to remember what Jesus would actually do by doing it and not just wearing a bracelet.

And I can feel that slight sound of "come home" in my ears.

We live in a tough, negative world that is doing everything it can do to remove you from your relationship with Jesus...are you aware of it? 

Are you really?!

So here's what I plan to do.

1. Understand it's happening.

2. Turn to my Bible and faith based books.

3. Be proactive in listening to worship music.

4. Don't get trolled online or by friends.

5. Go...to...church.

Hamtramck, Michigan

The summer of 2023 was an up and a down.

I wasn't able to go to Azerbaijan because of visa issues which were all of my own making.

But I did go to Michigan for a week and help out Sports Reach's Zac Arrington in Hamtramck which is just outside of Detroit.

Hamtramck is the first majority Muslim city in the USA with a Muslim city council and Muslim Mayor.

Hamtramck was first full of Polish immigrants, but it has changed drastically with Yemani and other Arab groups moving in.

I got off the interstate after driving through Detroit, but when I drove through Hamtramck most of the businesses were in English with Arabic underneath in parentheses.

Lots of women were wearing burkas, the full length hijab which I had seen before even in the USA, but not this many.

The kids were a little rambunctious, didn't really want to be there at times, the basketball court was outside and we had no cover from the heat, but I enjoyed it.

Kids are kids and you have to understand that, and I do, maybe I am just becoming the bitter old man as I age.

I don't know if I will go back, but it wouldn't be bad if I did.

It Happens

I am alone in my own thoughts, a lot, in fact, too much.

I wish I didn't think that much about every little thing, most of which do not matter.

I wish I didn't take every single thing so personally.

But I do, and I do.

I feel I will only feel better once I quit coaching and/or my kids aren't playing organized sports anymore.

Then I can just go to school, do my job and live my life without worrying about what anyone thinks (Yea, I know, shouldn't care, but I do).

But then it will be time for grand kids and I will worry about them.

So, I guess the question is not when will I be able to relax, but would I feel "right" if  did or could?

I've learned to live the way I am believing that any slight by any single person must have some deep, well thought out reason for them to negate me, bad talk me, think less of me, or even not think of me because that's what I do.

I think too much.

I play some imaginary world in my head.

And I am usually wrong...or am I?

Dear Maddie

Dear Maddie,

You are graduating from high school and "moving out" in a couple of months and I am not sure how I feel about it. 

As I type this, I am probably feeling more emotional than I have. 

I will never forget the day you were born and I saw my daughter...the feeing of love was nothing I had ever experienced in how I loved you in that very moment.

It was a wave of love, excitement and fear. Fear because I was now responsible for a person and you can't mess around with that.

I've often joked if a pet dies everyone goes "awwww" that's too bad, but if something happens to your child, there's an investigation.

But it has been an absolute joy, but also honor to be your dad as you have reached this point.

I have learned so much about myself and about what matters in life because of you.

I took you to your first day of kindergarten (pictured above) and was there when you walked out as a student for the last time, and it seems like it happened in a blink.

Time is moving at two speeds all the time, quickly and slowly.

I know I haven't always been the best dad, and I am so sorry for those moments (okay, this is making me a little emotional), because I am not perfect and you are to me in so many ways, I failed you.

But never ever doubt that your mother and I love you.

Mom shows it other ways, but she would literally kill for you. Me, too...I am just more vocal about it and people know to back off!

Anyway...

I am so impressed with you. You're the best human I know and how I feel now with you graduating and moving on to the next part of your life is "a job well done".

Your mom had more to do with it than me, but I know I had a hand in it even if just backing up your mother.

But, I have zero doubts that you're going to do wonderful things and you're going to keep your mind on Christ as you do it.

And that's a win.

So congratulations, I love you, and there is never anything you could do that I won't love you.

I may get agitated, I may wonder what the F is gong on? 

But I will never not love you.

Know that while walking in and out of our door at home, it is just that...your home. A place you are loved unconditionally and the door is always open for you.

 

The World is Upside Down...or Am I Just Getting Older?

I can remember in the late 1970's listening to my father and grandfather talk about how bad the country and world were. And it seems that every generation does this, they talk about how bad things have gotten. I never seem to hear how good things have gotten as time has passed. 

But here I am, thinking that the world is upside down.

That up is down and down is up, but could it be because I am getting older and looking back at the glory days of my youth when my dad and grandpa thought what I think today?

But we literally cannot define words anymore.

We claim everything is wrong, that even math is bad because of who used it first (math was discovered by the way).

I struggle in thinking that it's a small minority that actually partakes or believes in this "craziness", but yet, I see lots of "normal" people who support it and are willing to fight for it.

I said recently that if the most recently "craziness" ends, it won't be the worst part that it happened, but that we supported and celebrated it.

But it won't matter. 

Few people see the correlation or would admit that just maybe by celebrating the most recent craziness actually leads to their downfall as well as the slippery slope that is our culture.

I've seen students not get the help they need because we support and celebrate certain things that five years ago would have gotten them immediate, severe help. I worry that we see the results of horrifically bad things that have happened to people and celebrate those results when we should be healing what happened to them.

But what do I know?

I know that the hypocrisy of some is so prevalent they struggle to even see that their own words and actions are hypocritical or could be seen as such.

I said today, I think many issues are on pendulum and we often don't do enough for certain issues like mental health, and then we get into the sweet spot of where we need to be, but alas, we go too far past what was needed.

But, maybe this pendulum will swing back to the sweet spot again.

We can only hope.

But what do I know? I'm just a guy who sees too much and thinks too often.

Bowling Alley Songs

If I could write a t.v. show that brought back nostalgia for me, it would be Wednesdays at Silver Creek  Lanes, or something like that. I realize that's not a good title, that's I write blog entries that no one reads and not television scripts.

The place has burned down and been rebuilt differently, so it makes the memories even thicker because I cannot go back there, it's locked in my mind.

But I am not sure if it was Wednesdays or when it was, but my parents were in a bowling league at Silver Creek Lanes in the mid 1970's. I was a kid, we're talking like 6, 7, or 8...wow, just writing that and realizing what an effect that time had on me is kind of weird.

But I grew up a lot then and experienced some firsts.

My parents would bowl, and there was a group of us that would run and play in the area behind it.

It was a sort of freedom. 

We thought we were in a world of our own, but our parents would, of course, from time to time have to come and tell us to calm down.

We would play tag, freeze tag, arm wrestle and fall in "love". That is so funny to write, being probably 7 years old.

When I was that age, I was pretty fast, pretty cute, and pretty smart, so I was good at tag and freeze tag and there was one little girl that caught my heart and now at 53, I cannot remember her name. But I remember looking forward to those nights because of her and all of the other friends there.

What set off the inspiration to reminisce today is the song Sister Golden Hair by America.

That song, like many from that era, really bring back memories of that time. So much so, that I often call them bowling alley songs.

There was a jukebox there and that song was played every time we were there, or so it seemed, so when I hear that guitar riff, I am transported back to a much more innocent time.

A time when I was fast.

A time when I got the cute girl to like me.

A time when losing an arm wrestling contest to a cocky little boy, helped me lose the affection of the cute girl.

To a time when music was better, the Coca-Cola was better, the freedom of the place was better, and not understanding the pain and suffering of aging can bring existed, the innocence of that time was so fun.

Oh, I miss those days.

I wish I could go back in time and just sit and watch the whole scenario play out and tell the little boy playing there, it's gonna be a wild ride, but you will end up great with a beautiful wife and two wonderful children.

And the 7 year old me would look at him and then run to mom and dad and tell them "stranger danger"!

Lead, Follow, AND Get out of the Way

 

This past school year, I have been taking part in a leadership academy with other teachers in the Silver Creek School Corporation, and it has been fruitful and thought provoking. What I am about to write about are my perceptions and feelings when it comes to leadership and education...so bear with me, especially if you don't agree with anything I am about to write about.

Teachers:

Teachers do not want to be led. We are leaders, we don't need to be led, we for sure need to be nudged from time to time, but more often than not, we lead. We all haver different styles and there are some people who need to be led and maybe even fired because they cannot or will not lead.

In the picture above, teachers do not want a Boss...ever, and only want a Leader if that leader has decided we are going to do something radically different. Even then, teachers don't like leaders coming in and messing with them when it's not broken.

Teachers tend to even be aggravated by leadership that seems to micromanage, don't push us unless we need it. But, reward as often as you discipline...then you will get the support of us "followers" in times that you need us.

Now, if teachers get in trouble or are being questioned by students or parents, we do want a Leader then who will take up for us, stand with us, or pull the sled. Too often, it seems, we as teachers get ourselves in that trouble, but not always.

It's then that we want leadership to have our back and support us publicly. 

In teachers not wanting to be led, if there are no complaints from administration, then we must be doing it right, so it seems natural to want to be supported in hard times.

Administration:

The school board should support the Superintendent, the Superintendent should supports his principals, and all of them should be pulling the sled at all times.

Too often, we don't see anyone pulling the sled, but we feel the whip or the words from the top of the sled when it comes to admin leadership.

Most Principals do not need to be micromanaged and neither do most teachers. 

But work with those admins or teachers, do not use sweeping language or emails for the issues of one or a few, it's unnecessary and aggravating to those who are doing their jobs leading.

At our school, things run pretty smoothly and even the small change by admins or above can have a Princess and the Pea feeling. It may not seem like a big deal, but it becomes something that we notice, cannot get comfortable with, and sets off overreaction by those under leadership.

Finally, I just want to say that I believe that a large majority of admins and teachers are doing great jobs, but the "fix" on teachers or admins should be single situations, precise incisions, and not complete overhauls, or blanket accusations.

Unless it's needed and we all know situations like that, but too often that's not what we do.

We know you have jobs, you do not have to justify them by making more work for admins or teachers.

We know you're doing a good job because we are doing a good job.

We know you're allowing us to be what we need to be as leaders because we are happy and, in return, our students are happy which should make all admins above us happy.

You don't need a legacy for a radical change or some new radical hire.

A simple "hello, thanks for all you do, keep up the great work" with a smile will suffice, and for that, we will have your back when necessary.