In 1996 and 1997, I had the privilege of working with Jim Mathews at New Washington High School in New Washington, Indiana for two seasons. Coach Mathews ended up winning a lot of basketball games, took his small school to success in the old one class era, and I was able to learn a lot about the game from him.
But in my, now, 33 years of coaching, I think this one quote from him rings true every single year. "Perry, the best place to coach is an orphanage." Me obviously looking perplexed because at the time, I had been coaching for only four years. "Why?" and his response...."No parents."
Now before you get offended if you're a parent you have to understand how much a head coach has to deal with. For every player there are at least on average two parents, probably more today. There are four grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, girlfriends or boyfriends and it's high school basketball in Indiana. Everyone is a fan or played and knows a lot about the game here, so everyone has an opinion.
I am a parent, so I get it.
We love our children and we want them to be successful and "get what they deserve" and not to be "treated differently".
So here's the problem that comes around each season.
If you're a freshman on the freshman team, you wonder why you're not on the junior varsity.
If you're a freshman on the JV, you wonder why you're not starting.
If you're starting, you wonder why you're not on the varsity.
If you're on the varsity, you wonder why you're not playing.
If you're playing, you wonder why you're not starting.
If you're starting, you wonder why you're not getting more shots.
And if you're getting a lot of shots, you wonder why any shot you take is a bad shot according to the coaches.
Now, you tell me where all this confusion comes from?
It is amazing how student athletes will do what they're told and do it to the best of their ability until outside influences start to get involved.
How do I know it happens?
Because I've been doing this for 33 years and I have children, and I hear what people tell my kids and it really is what Pat Riley calls 'the disease of me'.
We like to hear good stuff about ourselves and if what we hear isn't consistent with what is happening in my immediate situation, I start to question and doubt and be unhappy.
More often than not, student athletes don't realize they're supposed to be unhappy, they just know what they're hearing isn't consistent with what is happening.
And man...these kids do not want to let all of those outside influences down.
So an orphanage, huh? Nah, parents are awesome in how they're involved in their kids lives.
Parents are awesome because they care and love their child and really do want what's best for the team (most of the time).
I just wish all of the outside forces would process what they're saying to kids because I really don't think they mean any harm, but it does make a coaches job harder.
But hey, that's why we/they get paid the big money.
