When I was younger and we had our first pet, it died and I was distraught.
The pain was numbed by getting another puppy, until it died and it happened again.
Then my grandfathers, both of whom I was close to, died close to each other.
That was it, I have tried to keep an arm's distance from everyone and everything since.
I have had friends, girlfriends, relatives, students, co-workers all die in my life and I have done a good job in pushing that down.
I think that's why I am not as close to my parents and sister because I fear the end for them.
Hopefully, it does not come for a long time, but I have withdrawn from them for many years.
I had an almost Rockwellian type childhood. Two parents that stayed married, living in a small town enjoying playing and learning about the world around me. Two parents that attended my events and always show their love for me, even when I got a good smack on the rear.
I love my first family, I care about them, I want the best for them, but I am scared of the hurt if I lose them.
Yea, don't even get me started on my wife and kids...I just hope I go before all three of them.
My father is a great man who has done more to help others than any other person I know.
My mother is driven and gave me the desire to compete and be the best.
My sister is a wonderful mother and is always helpful.
I love them very much, and I think that's what scares me.
