Mental Health is Nothing to be Ashamed of...Ever

I am currently reading, and almost finished with, Drop the Stones by Carlos A. Rodriguez. It is a very good book that will make you think and realize what being a follower of Jesus should be like. 

Rodriguez is bluntly honest about his shortcomings in all aspects of his life which is refreshing.

It is refreshing because he writes about his life and the "downs", but that there are "ups" also, but we all feel "down" at some point.

I have been honest about my own mental health both online and in class, I think it's important to be genuine and honest. I believe it brings support and understanding from those who may or may not know me. Some may disagree, and that is fine, I love you anyway.

After the tornado hit Henryville schools, I went through some major anxiety and depression. And I felt so lost. I have always been a "I can't control what happens to me, but I can control how I deal with it" kind of person and this threw me for a loop.

There are certain events that happen in your life that you will never forget.

One is the night when everything hit the bottom and I walked around my basement completely number and uncaring about everything. I know it was a battle going on in my mind by a demon, the devil, whatever you want to say, but it was the bottom.

I was so worn out that the next morning, I went to Life Springs in Jeffersonville, because I needed to talk to someone and maybe be medicated.

I went, and they were providing Henryville residents 5 free sessions. So I signed up and the woman behind the counter told me:

We will get back with you next week.

I was lost.

I was worn down and had turned to the one place I thought could help me.

I went and sat in my car and felt like I could not go on, and I prayed a small prayer "God help me".

I called my family doctor and usually I have to wait a couple days or even a week or so to get in, but that morning the woman on the other side of the phone said these words "We actually had a cancellation, can you get here today?" Me: "When!?" Her: "How about 15 minutes?".

I cried.

From there my doctor helped me with some medications, and eventually I got in to Life Springs.

And it was wonderful...both of them.

I did not grow up in the church and have a minor in psychology, so I knew how good both of those things were for the average person, so I had not shame.

But I found as I shared my story with deep followers or pastors, they felt a need to let me know it was ok for counseling and medications.

It floored me to think there are people in the church who might not look for help, and may feel ashamed they are medicated.

It's dumb...no, really it is.

And today reading Drop the Stones, I came across this quote on page 124.

Read, believe it, and seek it.

"Therapy is not demonic; taking antidepressants is not a sin; seeing a psychiatrist is not anti-Christian; and those who suffer from mental health problems are not a failure." Carlos A. Rodriguez

By the way, it hit me during counseling, I couldn't control that a tornado went over top of me, destroyed my school and sent me spiraling mentally, but I did control the situation....I asked for help.

Love you guys.

My Failures as a Son/ Brother

When I was younger and we had our first pet, it died and I was distraught.

The pain was numbed by getting another puppy, until it died and it happened again.

Then my grandfathers, both of whom I was close to, died close to each other.

That was it, I have tried to keep an arm's distance from everyone and everything since.

I have had friends, girlfriends, relatives, students, co-workers all die in my life and I have done a good job in pushing that down.

I think that's why I am not as close to my parents and sister because I fear the end for them.

Hopefully, it does not come for a long time, but I have withdrawn from them for many years. 

I had an almost Rockwellian type childhood. Two parents that stayed married, living in a small town enjoying playing and learning about the world around me. Two parents that attended my events and always show their love for me, even when I got a good smack on the rear.

I love my first family, I care about them, I want the best for them, but I am scared of the hurt if I lose them.

Yea, don't even get me started on my wife and kids...I just hope I go before all three of them.

My father is a great man who has done more to help others than any other person I know.

My mother is driven and gave me the desire to compete and be the best.

My sister is a wonderful mother and is always helpful.

I love them very much, and I think that's what scares me.

I Am Choosing Love (Except when competing which is a failure of mine)

I have sat back for the last 16 years and have developed my feelings and thoughts on Christianity and politics.

I really struggle with those two things because as politics have become even more polarized, my opinion usually only tickles the ears of those who think similarly to me.

And too often, my opinion will just push people away from what I believe is the greatest thing I can share and that's the love of Christ.

Yet, if I am not showing it in a public and private manner, I very well could be pushing away from Him.

And I have had it with the growing, ugly head of Christian Nationalism in the the USA.

Sure, I believe that we are a dominantly Christian nation, but too many of us have put too much of our faith in the political leaders of this country.

We claim that God wants this candidate or that one.

We should vote how God would want us to. (Which party? That party that supports the unborn or the one who believes the government should help the poor?)

I do believe that God is all powerful, I believe that God can control anything here, but for us to put so much "faith" in President is alarming to me as I have grown in my faith.

Not only that, we will then vilify a President because he violates his faith's commandments.

Guess what?

We cannot vote in a God fearing leader any more than we can vote out someone we believe who is not.

We can only live our lives, growing in our faith, while helping and loving others...everyone.

We cannot be a church of Sunday only, we have to take those messages into the streets and to online.

Sure, I believe in sin, I believe a lot of people are sinning, but I guarantee that I am right up there with anyone.

But our job is not to condemn, it's to love as Jesus said he loved us....period.

Any of their issues will be worked out after they die, but that's between them and God, not between them and me.

And loving them does not justify their behavior any more than them loving me justifies mine.

It's a tough road, one that I fight every day.

How can I be the love of God and still stand for "right" vs. "wrong".

Let me know if you find out an easy way to do so and remember to be easy on me.

Let's do it...I think!

Covid-19 has sucked for a lot of people over the last year.

We have a vaccine, millions have had the virus, and it seems there's a light at the end of the tunnel in this madness we've endured.

So to celebrate, I am seriously considering a trip around the world.

I have recently started Cornerstone Hoops, and I want to work basketball camps/clinics, travel around the world, share the Gospel, and maybe do it within a month.

Most people do not understand how relatively cheap it is to fly to a country, and to fly around the world won't be cheap, but won't be as expensive as you think.

It's crazy because I just recently came up with this idea, and the details are flying through my mind.

Could I get a sponsor?

I would definitely blog about it, take pictures.

I would definitely share this experience with everyone who would want to be a part of it.

Now...think about the details, raise the funds, and let's do it!

I think. 

You Don't Have to Do It

You don't have to do it.

You don't have to post on social media mean, condescending comments about situations or to others.

We preach to our students so often that what they put on social media will be there forever, and yet we decide it's not equitable to us.

Our lack of humility and empathy as a species will be our downfall.

It's not just humans committing genocide, but how we treat our neighbor.

And who is our neighbor?

It is everyone...online or in person.

Why be mean?

Do you really believe you are changing anyone's minds?

You are hardening their heart, more often than not to where they will never listen or possibly change.

You are writing to the choir with many "likes" and agreeable comments which will give you a false sense of arrogant genius.

It's sad because social media can be used for so much good, but so can anything, but we humans tend to mess it all up.

I refuse to hate.

I refuse to be condescending online because you do not know who you may be sending over the edge.

I refuse to argue online.

I refuse to be like so many others...though, I know I will fail, I will try to put a positive spin out into the world.

It's hard enough without the "fake" online world making it worse.