relationships

relationships
29 years coaching experience/ 7 years as a varsity boys' basketball coach, now assisting

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Hey Look, IU Has Problems and I Have an Opinion


When did being a 45 year old man become a "kid"? Now I know that sometimes I may not always act my age, I like to enjoy myself and have a good time, but when did 45 become a "kid"? Or 40? Or 35? Or 30? Or 25? Or 20? Or 18? I have been told I am a "kid" at every age since I turned 18 usually by some older man. But when do I get to grow up? When do I get to be an adult and not a kid?

What we have in this country, and I don't think it was intentional, is a delayed adolescence going on. We now have men in their 30's who live at home and maybe have a job, maybe not, and it isn't frowned upon. I will say that I delayed a little. Went to college right out of high school, dropped out, worked the entire time, moved out of my parent's home at 23, worked, then got back into school and graduated from college around 27. What I was until then was an adult man who needed to grow up some more.

At 18, you have every legal right of an adult except the purchasing of alcohol. Every single right. You can vote, you can get married, you can join the military, you can drive, you can work as many hours as you want, you can do everything everyone else can do but buy and drink alcohol.

So when I read about how adult men can't make good decisions on the Indiana University men's basketball team and most of the blame goes to Coach Crean, I get a little frustrated and confused. What else can a coach do besides suspend, run, practice early, preach about the importance of making good decisions, and penalize the entire team? If the adult men playing for you do not want to do the right things, whose fault is it? Should there be harsher penalties? Who knows? I don't even know all that was done to try and stem the tide. Should some of the players be removed from the team? Maybe, but who? And how well do you know the person? Maybe this is the place for them to grow and learn as a man and maybe they need to be helped to learn and grow as a man elsewhere.

But we can sit behind a computer and social media not knowing much about an event and begin to castrate all involved. We can point fingers and say what should be done without having any power to do anything, and how convenient is that for us? I know that I can sometimes complain about my boss, I think it is natural, but what I always follow it up with is "but I don't want his job, it's a tough job in which no matter what you do somebody isn't happy".

I will say that I have been a supporter of Coach Crean for many reasons, most of them personal. Do I think he is perfect? No. Does he think he is perfect? No. Should he be given the opportunity to clean this mess up while trying to win games? I think so. And I think he wants that opportunity, too.

Finally, I just want to add...would you adult men for the IU men's basketball team who claim to love your coach or coaches, claim to want to compete and play hard for them, coaches who have taken time away from their families to help you grow as a person and a basketball player, please begin to act like you care about them? Because right now many of you look like selfish, entitled jerks not caring how it makes you, your coaches or your university look.