relationships

relationships
29 years coaching experience/Worked Camps/Clinics on 5 Continents

Thursday, April 16, 2015

In All Honesty


Since I wrote a week or so ago about feeling like a terrible parent, things have been much better. My daughter (with her iTouch taken away) has shown much more responsibility, but still struggles getting homework finished (3-4 hours of homework a night for a 4th grader). But her mother and I spoke and we really do expect a lot of her. And yet, she is spending 12 hours a week in the gym for gymnastics (soon to end), she was playing on a basketball team and starting the season for two softball teams. Dumb parents we are and then expecting so much of her behavior at home.

Still...it doesn't give her a reason to procrastinate. We are proud of her and we have seen improvement in her behavior.

But then there's the other one. I know, I know...that wasn't very nice, but my son is complicated. He is emotionally stoic, he shows his love, but he does not like to show emotion. It embarrasses him, I guess. I get it. But he struggles with communicating his feelings when he is tired, angry, mad, tired, etc. And what happens is he throws a tantrum that a 7 year old should not be throwing. I don't remember ever doing it because I would have gotten a good reddening of my behind. But we redden his behind from time to time, also.

Yet, nothing from reddening his behind, to discussion, to taking things away seems to help his behavior. After the tantrum, he feels awful and that sometimes seems like punishment enough, yet, it doesn't change his behavior.

In all honesty, I just want to give up sometimes. I want to head off into the woods and come back when they are 25 and they know how to treat their parents with more respect on a consistent basis. But then I realize that even in these failures (I often feel like a failure as dad), I will look back and laugh? about them. It will be when they are 25 and are decent human beings, that I will look back and realize it was all worth it.................right?

**Happy 7th birthday to my son Brandon. He was born and the next day around 5:30 AM there was an earthquake, we should have known then.**