relationships

relationships
29 years coaching experience/ 7 years as a varsity boys' basketball coach, now assisting

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Geez

We have enough problems that we don't cause for ourselves, so we need to do a better job of controlling those we can.  It's hard sometimes and our actions sometimes go too far and wish we could take back what we did or said.  However, the "I got to get you back" factor allows for things to continue sometimes when they shouldn't.

We have all heard of coaches who have done things outside the confines of coaching that has gotten them into trouble, we have even heard of those who within the confines of coaching has gotten them in trouble.  But at some point, both sides need to move on, at least, publicly.  The pain or hurt inflicted upon you can be bad, but quit perpetrating the issue online.

I posted something and it is true recently for myself.  You cannot pull the pin on a hand grenade and then get mad when it blows up in your face.  No matter how right or wrong you are, if you post something that even seems close to insinuating something from a painful past event, it will be found and it will blow up.  Hopefully for only a short time.  But you cannot be surprised of the blow up, you can only learn from it and not do it again.  Unless you feel the need to defend yourself against such accusations which will, in the end, cause another blow up.

I started this blog for a way to vent on things that were going on in my life, my coaching life.  It probably kept some events going on, but it did end many because once the total truth came out, it often stopped the problem.  Threatening one side with the "truth" does nothing because the "truth" is often perspective especially in emotional issues, and what you might think to be honorable actions in actuality would hurt your argument of the truth.  Make sense?  Probably not.

The best thing you can do when attacked, whether wrongly or rightly, most often wrongly is to allow it to die.  Eventually, eventually both sides can move on, but it was much easier in the time before social media....for sure.