I struggle being a good person.
I'm sure many people feel this way, but it is something that I really struggle with.
As I've grown in my faith, I can almost feel the pettiness, the anger, the "I'm going to get even" coming on and it takes a lot to stifle.
I am good as long as I think that a situation is fair, but if I don't...well, it's not good for me or the person it can be directed at.
I have almost accepted that I am "Nobody's #1" and when I say nobody, I mean nobody, but when something is directed at my wife or kids...I really struggle holding it together.
Sure, if you smart off to me, I'm going to snap back, but when it comes to them, well, let's just say that when I take the high road it is an amazing feat.
Because if I am hurt, but especially if my wife or kids are hurt, I want to hurt them back...with words, until they "give".
It probably comes from not feeling equal growing up, but it really is dumb when you think about it.
So where is the fine line between standing up for yourself and letting stuff that really isn't that big of a deal go?
Because if there is anyone who can make a mountain out of mole hill, it's this guy...and maybe that's why I'm "Nobody's #1".
But I do try, a lot, but it so often feels like I'm trying to climb a muddy hill in the pouring rain making some progress, but slipping further back than I was when I started.
Ahhhh, I feel a little better and this is why I started this blog...to vent and to get stuff off my mind.
