"If I am one of those [faces of the sport], I'm probably a good one because I'm authentic," Hurley said. "I'm basically a high school coach masquerading at the college level. I don't really care what people think of my intensity or passion. It obviously shows up with my team with how we play. We don't cheat. We don't lie. We're about all the right things. Just at times, I'm an asshole." UCONN Men's basketball coach Dan Hurley
And I felt this in my bones.
I struggle being a good person.
I'm sure many people feel this way, but it is something that I really struggle with.
As I've grown in my faith, I can almost feel the pettiness, the anger, the "I'm going to get even" coming on and it takes a lot to stifle.
I am good as long as I think that a situation is fair, but if I don't...well, it's not good for me or the person it can be directed at.
I have almost accepted that I am "Nobody's #1" and when I say nobody, I mean nobody, but when something is directed at my wife or kids...I really struggle holding it together.
Sure, if you smart off to me, I'm going to snap back, but when it comes to them, well, let's just say that when I take the high road it is an amazing feat.
Because if I am hurt, but especially if my wife or kids are hurt, I want to hurt them back...with words, until they "give".
It probably comes from not feeling equal growing up, but it really is dumb when you think about it.
So where is the fine line between standing up for yourself and letting stuff that really isn't that big of a deal go?
Because if there is anyone who can make a mountain out of mole hill, it's this guy...and maybe that's why I'm "Nobody's #1".
But I do try, a lot, but it so often feels like I'm trying to climb a muddy hill in the pouring rain making some progress, but slipping further back than I was when I started.
Ahhhh, I feel a little better and this is why I started this blog...to vent and to get stuff off my mind.
Tips to Coaching Sports:
1. Never meet with a student athlete via Zoom. If it is that important, meet with them face to face. I cannot even begin to explain how bad this is.
2. Don't have expectations that you're not willing to do yourself. Like being at practice. We all have emergencies, but don't miss the day before a game for something that could be scheduled at a different time.
3. Do not run off your best competitors. Yes, they're probably going to be some of the hardest attitudes to deal with, but you want at least one or two on your team who are real close to standing up to you.
4. Take your worst attitude player and give them responsibility or buy in. If their ideas work, great, if they don't they will buy in to anything you try after that.
5. Don't forget your best players and best attitude kids. Don't take them for granted.
6. Find someone you can talk to, a mentor, a friend, a coach dealing with the same things you do because you can sometimes not see the forest for the trees.
7. Realize that your coaching staff needs to be loyal. If you have a family member of a player on staff, they're not always going to see things clearly and any advice you get from them should be seen through the lens of "where is this coming from?" Ask other assistants their take on the family member advice if you're leery of it.
8. Prepare to win and don't be mad if your players want to win as bad or more than you do. Your job is to keep it in proper perspective, but...they do keep score for a reason and the higher the level of play, the more winning should be emphasized.
9. If you want everyone to play equal amounts of time from about middle school through college, coach club teams only or intramural. Student athletes are giving up a lot of their time to play to win, not just to play.
10. The more a player pushes back, at least take some time to find out if it is you and not them. You don't have to agree, but be honest with yourself.
11. Run only during practice for things you would do in that sport. Running at the end is fine, but shouldn't be only conditioning you do. Make it "fun" during practice.
12. The players are younger and less experienced than you, you should be the adult, but ultimately you may have to remove someone from the team usually from illegal activity.