Monday, January 9, 2017
Change Isn't Always Painless
A few years ago, I transferred from my dream job coaching and teaching at Henryville High School. It was something that even I never foresaw happening and especially to my current job coaching and teaching at Silver Creek High School.
HHS and SCHS are rivals and when I say rivals, I mean that in not a good way...at all.
I grew up in a home where SC was the enemy, the villain and there wasn't much about them that I liked.
But then I grew up and I experienced life and realized how petty and dumb that rivalry could be.
My wife is from Sellersburg (home of SC), it is where we live and where our children go to school. I had come to really enjoy being around people from the area, but still...I was from Henryville and that is where I would retired as an educator.
Or so I thought.
Before the tornado, I wanted my children to have their own lives separate from me as a teacher. After the tornado, I didn't care about that anymore.
Instead of bringing them to the school I taught at because I knew too much and had too many bitter feelings about that place because of a small few people.
People who I felt were ungrateful for the amount of time that I put into something away from my own family.
People who didn't always make my job easier in the classroom.
And people who didn't seem to care that these things were going on.
So I wanted my children to grow up somewhere other than that school that I attended and worked at. Because of that they attend the school in the community we live.
And I transferred to be close to them as as well as issues that finally made it enough for me to continue on at HHS.
In 2011, I had panic attack, but didn't know what it was. It happened in my classroom and scared me very, very much.
I went to the emergency room and people in the building knew where I was, yet when I arrived back two days later, I was told my lesson plans were bad.
Nothing was mentioned about my health.
I was not asked if I were okay or if there was anything I needed help with.
I was critiqued in a callous way for what I had gone through.
After the tornado in 2012, while we were in Scottsburg having school because the tornado tore down HHS, I joked we weren't going to do much the rest of the year. Our principal had even said same thing, he just wanted us to get through the last month of school.
But the student spread it around and I was scolded via email, not face to face and questioned that I was not doing my job. I had worked for my years as a teacher and for multiple administrations and had never been questioned if I were doing my job especially via gossip from a student.
Finally, when arriving back from Indonesia and missing the first week of school. I was not asked about my trip to Asia (not many teachers from this area go to Asia), but was reminded many times at what had been done for me leading up to school and that first week.
I do appreciate what was done, but I had finally had enough.
These are just the final things that did it for me.
I was like a cup of water being filled with more water and it starts to run over the glass...at some point you turn the water off or dump the glass.
I felt it was time to dump the glass of the negativity (maybe mostly perceived by me) and move on.
Many understand this, but because of misinformation (it happens) many, many do not understand including many people that I care about.
But I am coming to grips with that fact.
I don't like it, but I cannot control them.
I am so thankful for the people who supported me while there including the students!
I have relationships that I will always cherish even if they don't feel the same way.
I will always love my alma mater, but I have learned to love it's rival, too.