Tuesday, September 17, 2013
What Am I Doing?
Have you ever felt like you should be doing something other than what you are doing? When I was younger, I was bored, now that I am older, I don't understand the word bored. I either am doing what I want to do or trying to enjoy what I have to do. It is part of aging, I think, to completely understand this idea. Maybe aging isn't a good word, maybe maturing is a good word because I know many adults that seem "bored" with their lives.
Lately, I have felt that I should be doing something else with my life than what I am doing now. I get a great fulfillment out of teaching and coaching, but seem to be on empty right now when it comes to being motivated. Some of that has to do with the fact that there isn't one part of my life in turmoil right now. Personally, we are dealing with a life and death issue in my family; professionally, I am bored; and in my life outside of school, I have been dealing with issues all over the place.
Some would argue that maybe it's me and not all of the outside influences. I won't disagree with that. One thing I have learned about myself is that I do things for seven years and then I need a change. I taught in the junior high for seven years and when I was transferred to the high school, it rejuvenated me. I was the varsity boys' basketball coach for seven years and taking a year off rejuvenated me. Here I am at the beginning of my eighth year teaching in the high school and I feel like something is missing.
I don't know if it is that I miss my family more during the day, if this school has passed me up and fallen behind my energy level, or just an overall "thing" I am going through at 43. In no way do I feel that way about my wife and kids, in fact, I think I could retire and spend the rest of my life with them on some deserted island in the Pacific Ocean.
I know there is a reason for everything I am doing and I know that I will continue to do what I am doing to the best of my ability. I just....I just.....feel that something is missing and I should be somewhere else doing something else. I am sure in the near future that feeling with disappear and I will be fully charged and ready to go, or....I could be doing something else.