What Am I Doing?

Have you ever felt like you should be doing something other than what you are doing?  When I was younger, I was bored, now that I am older, I don't understand the word bored.  I either am doing what I want to do or trying to enjoy what I have to do.  It is part of aging, I think, to completely understand this idea.  Maybe aging isn't a good word, maybe maturing is a good word because I know many adults that seem "bored" with their lives. 

Lately, I have felt that I should be doing something else with my life than what I am doing now.  I get a great fulfillment out of teaching and coaching, but seem to be on empty right now when it comes to being motivated.  Some of that has to do with the fact that there isn't one part of my life in turmoil right now.  Personally, we are dealing with a life and death issue in my family; professionally, I am bored; and in my life outside of school, I have been dealing with issues all over the place.

Some would argue that maybe it's me and not all of the outside influences.  I won't disagree with that.  One thing I have learned about myself is that I do things for seven years and then I need a change.  I taught in the junior high for seven years and when I was transferred to the high school, it rejuvenated me.  I was the varsity boys' basketball coach for seven years and taking a year off rejuvenated me.  Here I am at the beginning of my eighth year teaching in the high school and I feel like something is missing.

I don't know if it is that I miss my family more during the day, if this school has passed me up and fallen behind my energy level, or just an overall "thing" I am going through at 43.  In no way do I feel that way about my wife and kids, in fact, I think I could retire and spend the rest of my life with them on some deserted island in the Pacific Ocean. 

I know there is a reason for everything I am doing and I know that I will continue to do what I am doing to the best of my ability.  I just....I just.....feel that something is missing and I should be somewhere else doing something else.  I am sure in the near future that feeling with disappear and I will be fully charged and ready to go, or....I could be doing something else.

The Weight of the World!

Me, Perry Hunter, and only me has the weight of the world on my shoulders.  No one understands me and the problems I am going through.  No one understands that just because I smile or seem to be in a great mood, I have burdens that I am bearing.  I have family, friend, professional and personal issues.  No one understands me and could ever relate with the pain I have suffered or am enduring today.  Because of that I have every right to lash out, retaliate and to just be a total - not nice person.  And because of that I have every right to write what I want on any social network or espouse my thoughts to everyone.  I will show some restraint and not use actual names, but everyone will know what I am talking about and by gosh, sometimes I will give you names.  I will do this because it will make me feel better and that's all that matters, right?

Also, I am the only person that seems to get attacked verbally via social media and word of mouth.  No matter what I say or do, it is judged thoroughly and by many people.  "How dare he!"  "What an arrogant person!" (won't argue with that one most of the time) "Who does he think he is?!"  I can tell you that I have and will continue to make mistakes and say some pretty dumb things.  Rarely do I mean it with the intent that it is taken.  I have a psychology minor and I know what happens and you would think that I would learn.  I say things, people translate it with their perception, then they spread their translation to someone else who translates the translation.  Next thing you know, we have a huge misunderstanding.  Why?  Because it's all about....me; and well, see the above comments.

Unfortunately, the previous paragraphs are true in many ways for both me and others, but also so wrong in many ways.  We all deal with something and sometimes it's more than others and most times it's not as much.  We lose all perspective because we are narcissistic (it isn't lost on me that I am writing about this in a blog I created for me to share my feelings because...well, I am special).  We lose all perspective in our hurt, our bad days, our "fighting injustices" that we inflict the same hurt on others.

Most humans are selfish until they have children.  Then they become, usually, less selfish about themselves and lose their minds about their children (there are actual psychological studies about how with each child, parents' IQ's drop, really there are).  We want our children to have the best of everything, we want them to be the best at everything, and we want them to not suffer or face any injustice.  I know, I am a parent too and I get it.  What's crazy is I know these things and am aware of them and yet I find myself doing the same thing.  I find myself getting frustrated or angry because of this or that in which I don't think my child is getting a fair shake.  The difference, often, but not always, is that when I start to get angry or frustrated, I start to realize what I am doing (my friends and family may disagree).  And I realize that this world is hard, it is full of struggle, and that my children, no matter how much I desire will encounter hurt, pain, and struggle.

So what should I do?  Coddle them, take care of them and step in at every injustice just because they are my cute little babies?  I think I have to be careful because sometimes they do need me, they will need me to step in to help, but more often than not they don't.  Despite the drop in my IQ, I need to understand that they need to struggle, fight, and overcome on their own.  If I don't allow that to occur what kind of adult will they become?  Unfortunately it won't be one that can handle life, but one who feels that any perceived injustice should be fought when it might just be time to kick it in and overcome it through perseverance.   

Basketball Purgatory

It is odd.  I haven't had much to write about lately when it pertains to basketball for a couple of different reasons, I guess.  The first is because I am busy working on my +30 hours for my teaching job.  I am taking online classes trying to get that pay raise which is the only way we can do that in Indiana.  Well, at least until 2016 when some dumb stuff will take over; paying teachers on merit.  I could write about that, but don't have time or really the patience. Secondly, my sister in law, Megan McKinley, had a heart transplant when she was 2 years old and is now 30.  That heart is worn out and she is fighting and waiting for another transplant.  That one puts a lot of silly things into perspective of what we deal with on a daily basis....and most of what we deal with is silly stuff.

But we are in a basketball purgatory right now.  Summer basketball is over, weights and open gym have become the norm and practice isn't for another month.  We have the fall sports and college football to tide us over, but it isn't the same.  When I go into a gym for a volleyball match, it's nice.  I am in a gym and I smell popcorn and I get the basketball "feel", but it's not basketball.  Plus it is so darn hot in most gyms around here this time of year.

With all of the daily issues I encounter, basketball does a good job of taking my mind off those issues if even for a short moment.  So come on basketball season, I need to you for my mind to slow down and we can get to work.

One Word

If you could choose one word to describe yourself what would it be?  What one word would people choose for you?  What one word would describe your family or your life?  I have read some books by Dan Britton and Jon Gordon that talks about this one word thing.

Often we pick a phrase or a status or a vision statement that is wordy and hard to follow.  Try using just One Word and live by it for a week, a month, or a year.

I am starting today and my one word is "now".  When should I do it?  Now.  When should I go there?  Now.  When should I begin?  Now. 

What Season is it Anyway?

I have written about this before, but it seems to be an issue that keeps coming up with our family.  And I am sure it will continue in the future.  Our kids play multiple sports.  My wife and I have chosen as parents to allow them to play a sport per season.  When that season is over, we don't feel that at such a young age they should be playing a sport out of season.  In today's world, the definition of "season" is becoming harder and harder to do.  We are not judging parents who allow this, but we want our kids to feel the freedom to play whatever sport they want in that season and still have time to be kids.  Parents who allow this are not doing anything wrong in our eyes, not at all, but are focusing so much attention on one thing for their kids. 

We feel that when they get to around 10-13 years of age, if they want to stop playing the different sports they do and want to specialize on one or two, then they can choose that.  I would like for them to play multiple sports in high school because the odds that they will get to do anything past high school are slim.  I want them to have memories of playing more than just one sport and dealing with the success and failure that different sports provide.

Don't get me wrong, if one or both of them start to show a love and an advanced skill in one sport, we would let them stop playing multiple sports at some time.  Especially if it could make us money in the future or a free scholarship, we would highly consider it as long as our children love that sport.  Does that make us hypocritical?  Maybe, but our kids will not play hundreds of games before they get to high school in any sport.  What we really want is for them to log hundreds of hours in the backyard riding their bikes, playing with their friends and enjoying their youth.  They will have plenty of time to be working on just one thing when they are older.

Being a True Follower

(The hypocrite and Ernie Johnson)

If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you may want to read this...or maybe not.  If you are a non-believer, you will probably agree with the principle, but don't need all my Jesus stuff shoved down your throat.  Either way....here you go.

I spend a lot of time on the Internet.  I like to check my Facebook, but I really enjoy Twitter.  What's the difference?  Not sure, I think there is less interaction on Twitter so when I post something, I don't have to read how someone disagrees with it, therefore, making me feel good.  Probably something I need to work on.

Being on these sites and blogs and other websites, I often see believers of the Gospel not acting consistent.  I am sure that many people would say the same thing about me, I don't claim to not be a hypocrite, just an aware one trying to be better.  However, if you have Bible scripture in your online life you in which others can see, you are not allowed to use profanity or post perverse items.  It just isn't right as a follower and believer of Christ.  I am not judging you, but that is the quickest way to turn someone teetering on the verge of salvation or someone against the Gospel even further away.

If you are gong to espouse the love for God and Jesus, you must be aware of your online activity.  Some of you may be reading this and saying "look what you blog about".  Trust me, I cleaned up some of my drafts the other day, I didn't clean them all up.  Why?  Because some of them were written in anger and it wasn't righteous anger. 

We are all hypocrites about something.  Often we just don't want to see it in ourselves, or can't.  However, if you are going to claim to be a follower online, you must reflect on everything you put out there.  In the "real" world, we all fail and come up short, usually because we react instead of contemplating, at least that's the major reason why I do, but in the online world, you can actually stop and think before pushing "send" or "tweet".  I think, though, that the access of smart phones actually allows us to act quickly and not too....ummm smart.

Look, you can do what you want.  I am not judging, I am not telling you what to do, I am not even going to be perfect in this endeavor, but what I am telling you is that inconsistency makes a difference.  Over ten years ago, I was agnostic and I can tell you those types of inconsistencies would have fed my anger over the hypocrisy of Christians.