relationships

relationships
31 years coaching experience/Worked Camps/Clinics on 6 Continents

Friday, September 13, 2013

The Weight of the World!



Me, Perry Hunter, and only me has the weight of the world on my shoulders.  No one understands me and the problems I am going through.  No one understands that just because I smile or seem to be in a great mood, I have burdens that I am bearing.  I have family, friend, professional and personal issues.  No one understands me and could ever relate with the pain I have suffered or am enduring today.  Because of that I have every right to lash out, retaliate and to just be a total - not nice person.  And because of that I have every right to write what I want on any social network or espouse my thoughts to everyone.  I will show some restraint and not use actual names, but everyone will know what I am talking about and by gosh, sometimes I will give you names.  I will do this because it will make me feel better and that's all that matters, right?

Also, I am the only person that seems to get attacked verbally via social media and word of mouth.  No matter what I say or do, it is judged thoroughly and by many people.  "How dare he!"  "What an arrogant person!" (won't argue with that one most of the time) "Who does he think he is?!"  I can tell you that I have and will continue to make mistakes and say some pretty dumb things.  Rarely do I mean it with the intent that it is taken.  I have a psychology minor and I know what happens and you would think that I would learn.  I say things, people translate it with their perception, then they spread their translation to someone else who translates the translation.  Next thing you know, we have a huge misunderstanding.  Why?  Because it's all about....me; and well, see the above comments.

Unfortunately, the previous paragraphs are true in many ways for both me and others, but also so wrong in many ways.  We all deal with something and sometimes it's more than others and most times it's not as much.  We lose all perspective because we are narcissistic (it isn't lost on me that I am writing about this in a blog I created for me to share my feelings because...well, I am special).  We lose all perspective in our hurt, our bad days, our "fighting injustices" that we inflict the same hurt on others.

Most humans are selfish until they have children.  Then they become, usually, less selfish about themselves and lose their minds about their children (there are actual psychological studies about how with each child, parents' IQ's drop, really there are).  We want our children to have the best of everything, we want them to be the best at everything, and we want them to not suffer or face any injustice.  I know, I am a parent too and I get it.  What's crazy is I know these things and am aware of them and yet I find myself doing the same thing.  I find myself getting frustrated or angry because of this or that in which I don't think my child is getting a fair shake.  The difference, often, but not always, is that when I start to get angry or frustrated, I start to realize what I am doing (my friends and family may disagree).  And I realize that this world is hard, it is full of struggle, and that my children, no matter how much I desire will encounter hurt, pain, and struggle.

So what should I do?  Coddle them, take care of them and step in at every injustice just because they are my cute little babies?  I think I have to be careful because sometimes they do need me, they will need me to step in to help, but more often than not they don't.  Despite the drop in my IQ, I need to understand that they need to struggle, fight, and overcome on their own.  If I don't allow that to occur what kind of adult will they become?  Unfortunately it won't be one that can handle life, but one who feels that any perceived injustice should be fought when it might just be time to kick it in and overcome it through perseverance.