30 years coaching experience/Worked Camps/Clinics on 5 Continents

Monday, January 2, 2012

The Holidays, Some Time Off, End of the Year and Thinking = Reflection

With all that goes on this time of the year and what I have been going through personally (nothing bad at all, in fact, the best days of my life so far), it made me think a little more than usual.  I started thinking about some of the things I have learned in my 42 years.  There is way more than this which may prompt another article, but these were 16 things that came to mind today while driving back from Florida.  These are things that I have experienced first hand and believe they are pretty universal.

1. People have good intentions:  But, they rarely follow through on them.  Usually it is the small things such as "hey, we need to get together sometime" or "I am going to help you out".  People actually say things intending to do what they say, but when it comes time to actually do it, they don't for many reasons.

2. Best friends forever:  Rarely...and that is ok.  I have worked many jobs in my life and you grow close to many people, but when the job ends or people move on, you rarely stay in contact.  That is okay.  When you do re connect, it is nice and true friends pick up where they left off.

3. We are principled people: At least for others.  We often live our lives by a different set of principles than what we expect out of other people.  We hold others to higher standards than we hold ourselves because, well, we have "reasons" for what we do, they have "excuses".

4. People tend to help others: And usually don't like it or do it expecting something in the future.  I think it is only human nature, but I believe that the ultimate way to live your life is to give it all way and never expect anything in return.

5. Words are easy to say: But harder to live by.  And maybe even easier to type.

6.  Hard work: Doesn't guarantee success, but you won't be successful without it.

7.  Mental toughness: is everything.

8.  Have high expectations: and expect to be held to a higher standard.  People will critisize and become angrier at you due to what you stand for.  Often times for reasons that have nothing to do with you.

9. Accountability: is wanted by few people...again with the "reasons" vs. "excuses".

10. We often treat those closest to us: the worst.  We let down our walls and fake selves and expect those we love the most to cater to us.  When having a bad day with strangers, don't take it out on those who really love you.

11. Proper perspective: is often lost due to our own selfishness.  Throw in our emotions that we can't control....and you can forget it.

12. Experience: is the greatest teacher, but we are so busy wanting to have fun that we often forget to "experience" the moment.  Then due to our selfishness we don't learn anything.

13. Next: We often don't experience or learn because when in the moment, we are wondering how we can have something better, bigger, more expensive in the future.  We don't appreciate what we have now.

14.  We are quick: to be experts on many things that we have, at best, minimal experience or knowledge of.

15. Your legacy: will be forgotten in 3 generations or less.  What you did will be forgotten, how you did it will remain in your children who you can hope will pass it on to their children.  Three generations later, they won't remember who started how they live, but they will live in a certain way....and probably not even know there is another way.

16. Find a supportive spouse:  They can make or break you in anything you do.  They can make you miserable or happy every single day.  I have the best coaches wife in the world.  If she isn't, there are only those who can be equal to her.