Dos:
1. Put in extra time off the court, you are not at practice, so you cannot know what's going on there, but if you put in extra time off the court, you can see where improvements are made.
2. Schedule a face to face with the coach some time away from the game so that emotions aren't involved.
3. Volunteer to coach at a lower level so you can see how hard it is to be "fair" when it comes time for you to watch, and then understand that when your child is playing.
4. Realize that this season will too end and unless the coach is being physically or emotionally abusive (coaching is neither) your child will learn a lot and be ready for the next coach.
5. If you are more than one season into a career, your child may not be being picked on, but it may be obvious to everyone but you that she is just not that good.
6. Include your child in the meeting the "don't say anything to ______ because he doesn't know I'm here and wouldn't like it" is weak. Get everyone on the same page, or stay away.
Don'ts:
1. Never say it's not about playing time...it always is. You may believe it is not, but it is, be honest with yourself.
2. Do not text or email...meet face to face or over phone. Tone can never be measured through the written word here and either side can get angry real quick over perceived tone.
3. Do it as least emotional as you can, so don't approach immediately after a game or in a hostile manner.
4. Do not stand for anyone else to approach the coach. This absolutely does not go over well.
5. Other people rarely ask why your child doesn't play more because that would require him playing over their child. Admit that you have complained and someone was being a good friend and agreed with you even if they didn't actually agree with you.
6. You are not a practice, not all players are treated equal (cost-benefit analysis for sure), so refrain from personal attacks on the coach.
7. Stay off social media with your complaints, it's embarrassing to you and to your child. It gives others with axes to grind to comment, and you would not like it if were happening to you or your child coaching.
7. Stay off social media with your complaints, it's embarrassing to you and to your child. It gives others with axes to grind to comment, and you would not like it if were happening to you or your child coaching.
Whether you agree or disagree with the coach, at the end of the season thank them for taking so much personal time away from their family and friends to try and instill values into your child.
The amount of money paid for any coaching position (sometimes $0) does not account for the time and efforts put into coaching and dealing with all of the issues they deal with.
