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I have watched, recently, some young men working to improve themselves as basketball players. And I have come to the conclusion that so much of what is done on the basketball court or baseball field or track field or softball field is done from the motivation of the coach, but even more so from inside the player.
Self-motivation is the only motivation that lasts. It does help that these young men have been able to see improvement due to their hard work which helps self motivation. But what is done or "given" in the sports world is due to each player's efforts. However, working hard does NOT guarantee success or playing time, but it does guarantee you the opportunity that you would not have if you chose not to work hard.
Finally, being in the weight room, or on the court does not mean you working hard. You must sweat, you must work, you must put effort into the time that you are putting in. If you aren't, you might as well just stay home.
How do you instill that in your children? I think some of it is genetic, but not allowing for excuses as a parent can help. I think if a child complains about playing time as a parent, we should ask how much time and effort that child has put into the sport away from the organized practice time. If they have put the time in, have they put in the absolute top effort? If they have put in the time and the effort, then it might be time for an honest conversation about just not being better than others. Unfortuantely, even for others that maybe don't put in the time or the effort. It is all part of life, and as adults we see it often in the real world.
