relationships

relationships
30 years coaching experience/Worked Camps/Clinics on 5 Continents

Friday, December 2, 2011

It's Not Their Fault

(kids at 5 and 2, love this picture)
My kids are 7 and 3 1/2 and on most days they want to act their ages (imagine that).  Most days I can take it, but still does aggravate me at times.  Why?  Because I spend a full day at school with other people's children and often don't get home until late because of it (I choose to do this, not asking for a pity party).  When I get home the last thing I want to be is the mean disciplinarian dad.  I want to laugh, talk and have some peace and quiet when I get home for the short time before they go to bed. 

Why doesn't it happen that way?  My expectations for my own children and their behavior is horribly unattainable for them.  Most days, I can tolerate how they act (mornings are way worse), but some days I cannot take it.  I end up taking out my day's frustrations on my wife and children.  It's not their fault, yet they get the brunt of my frustration.

Maybe if I were more consistent the kids wouldn't be confused, but I probably let them get away with too much most nights just to maintain some peace.  If I were more consistent (often too tired, but it's not an excuse) maybe they wouldn't act certain ways.  It has to cause confusion for them.  The best thing about feeling inadequate is that with a huge ego that I have, it passes in a day or two...or three.

A group of us started a Bible study on Sunday nights and we talked about our relationships with our fathers, past and present.  The point was brought up that we have issues, we all have issues and that we are passing some of our "stuff" onto our own children.  What we have to do is pass as little negative as possible onto them, and some days I wonder if that's occurring.