Ever Feel this Way?

When in a discussion, often which could be defined as an argument, I have held back the last few years.  There was a time when in arguing or even in talking with someone who wanted to really "give it to me", I would not hold back.  Ultimately winning the argument/discussion and being a total jerk in the process.  But I won and that was all that mattered.

Since I have grown in my faith, those same instances come up and I feel myself holding back.  For many reasons.  My faith and the example I try to live by which is the common decency not to be that way to another human being.  But as I get pushed and pushed, I feel that old me surfacing.  I say things I shouldn't because I know things I wish I didn't. Plus, to be real honest, if you don't feel like your hands are tied behind your back, it's real easy for me to put people "in their place".

It is so easy that when others feel they can fight back and say something they believe to be a "winner", I can go even further.  If you don't have that common decency to hold back, you can be ruthless, but I have found that I don't want to be that person, ever.  It is only when I am continually attacked or you want to win the final argument that the words form in my brain and are on the tip of my tongue, but I don't use them...sometimes. Sometimes because the insufficient human in me still rears its ugly head (I do apologize now which I would have never done in the past).

It is much easier to hold back if I drop out.  If I don't discuss anything with anybody having no opinion or I do not compete or coach it is easier to not take so many arrows, but what kind of life is that? I just keep praying for a thicker skin, the ability to smile it off, move forward, leaving the unhappy person behind as they continue to shout angry diatribes into the vastness of emptiness (where did that come from?).  

You Just Never Know

I have coached sports for many, many years. There is little that I do, if ever, in practice or games that does not have some sort of reasoning behind it.  There is always a reason for what I am doing.  You may not agree with that reasoning, but there is a reason; mine.

I have caught myself questioning coaches myself, then when asking the coach what was going on, they tell you information that I could not know unless I was coaching.  Unless I knew what was going on within the team and its players.  When I have questioned then I find out this info, I get upset with myself because the questioning has happened to me before, and I do not like it.

This past weekend, I was coaching my daughter's little basketball team.  We were up 12 with about 1:30 to go and the other team was allowed to press and I had no timeouts left.  My fear was that the other team would score, steal it as they pressed, and keep scoring...a lot in a short amount of time.  It is a team that is thrown together, so we haven't practiced and probably won't.  But with no timeout, I could not draw anything up if we were pressed.  It was conceivable that the other team could have scored a lot in a short amount of time.

I wanted our girls to back off defensively.  I wanted them to just keep their girl in front of them because at the 4th grade level, that makes it real hard to score.  Pressure allows for the defense to score, but it also allows the offense to have more open shots.  I wanted the time to run off, I wanted the girls to dribble around for 20-30 seconds before shooting, so that we would have less time to turn it over and allow the worst case scenario from happening.  All the while, our parents are yelling for our girls to pressure the ball.

They didn't know what I was trying to do.  They didn't understand what was going on in my mind and what I was wanting to do to ensure that we win.  You just never know what is going on in the mind of a coach, but I can bet that there is something going on, some reasoning.

So relax, it's under control, at least I think.

I Can Rest When I Die

I have sat around the last two years and have seen my two children get good coaching in their respective sports.  But I know that I have some skills and gifts that can enhance that.  I've decided to coach them.  I have done it here and there, but nothing crazy like I am about to partake in.  I've decided that I will be coaching them whenever I can, no more just sitting on the sideline knowing that I can help, and continue to help with the boys' basketball program at Silver Creek.  My son does a lot of stuff through that so it's like double dipping.

Will that run me ragged?  Of course.  I told someone the other day my schedule coaching both of them in multiple sports and was told I would get burned out.  Probably.  But it will not be long from now when they are gone and I will have wished I did more.  I will look back and think or wonder if I could have helped them grow, not just athletically, but also mentally through toughness.  I will try it for a couple years and see how it goes, but I just don't think I will hang it up with them.  I am an older father of 44 with a 9 and 6 year old.  I already see that they are growing up and away from me.  I already understand that I probably only have a few years more for them before they are making decisions on their own away from the guiding hand of their parents.

Will I get burned out?  What else would I do?  Sit on the sideline and be frustrated because I know that I could help?  Wonder in a few years where I went wrong?  I would rather be wrong by being too involved in a good/positive way than be wrong because I wasn't there for them.

One of My Biggest Fears

Are my kids too busy? I often get down because it seems like every single day is filled with activities. As soon as school is out, I coach so I am dealing with my responsibilities there, but our kids have at least one practice per night.  Baseball, softball, basketball and/or gymnastics every day including weekends.

Are they too busy?  I think so.  One of my biggest fears is that at 9 and 6, they are so busy that they will be burned out by the age of 16.  That at 16 they will want to quit all activities because they are just done with them.

So far, we haven't forced anything on them.  They whine a little about practice from time to time, but nothing more than that. If they complain, we tell them they don't have to play the sport next season (what's a season anymore?), but they must finish out what they are doing now.

My son quit soccer this fall to play fall baseball.  He has said that maybe next year, he would like to not play fall ball and get back into soccer, we shall see.  We have signed a contract for my daughter to participate with a higher level gymnastics program, going 9 hours per week.  She has made comments that maybe when it's over, she'd like to go back to her old gymnastics teacher, about an hour or two per week.

Parents often want their kids to play so many sports at a young age to make sure they get a college scholarship.  That's the last reason why I want my kids to play sports, in fact, it probably isn't on the radar at all.

I want them to:
Have fun and enjoy themselves.
Learn to handle adversity and success with class.
Learn to keep competing through good and bad times.
Learn that in life, we often need the help of others to be successful.
Learn that hard work doesn't guarantee success, but you can still have a good attitude.
Socialize and bond with their classmates/teammates.
Learn so much more about life than they can get just doing nothing.

That's it.  That's all.  College scholarship?  Sure it would be nice, but it has nothing to do with them playing.  Call it the coach in me, but I see how rare that actually occurs.

Play hard, play smart, play together, have fun...that's it.

You Never Know

The repayment you get will more than likely not be in this life, give anyway.