relationships

relationships
33 years coaching experience/Worked Camps/Clinics on 6 Continents

Friday, August 16, 2024

Above and Beyond: To Do or Not To Do

Most teachers and coaches I know go above and beyond what they're supposed to do.

Whether it's extra time, extra money, extra anything, they are willing to do it for the good of their students, their school and themselves.

We may not like that we get paid little to nothing, but it's something that we are willing to do because we love out jobs, the expectations match the pay scale, and we care.

But...

The more you tell us we have to do, the less we're willing to do on our own, or without pay.

You give me less plan time, I'm probably not going to grade as many things because I can usually get it done during the school day. 

Home is for me and my family.

You don't match my pay with every other corporation in our area, the love that we don't feel will show up in passive aggressive rebellion.

Yea, sometimes it will be flat out complaining in small circles, but we won't be at as many athletic events, band events, theater events, open houses, orientations, etc. that we love to do, but do without pay.

So don't pay us, take our time away, and mandate more box checking items to do, and you will see the morale drop in a school and you will also see teachers not doing things they used to love to do because, well we don't like being pushed.

A lot.

With that being said, I have had an attitude adjustment with the above things in the last couple of months.

Why do I teach?

For the kids.

Then do your dang job and teach the kids.

Check the boxes.

And teach the kids.

Do less work at home, do fewer events.

But teach the kids.

And enjoy doing what you felt called to do in the first place.

Even if someone is trying to suck the joy out of teaching.

Teach the kids.

Love the kids.

Remember why you got into education.

And do your dang job.


Thursday, August 15, 2024

What Came Between

(Watching the sun go down over the curvature of the Earth in Hawaii)

I can promise you that I use this blog to vent only.

It is probably not about you...or maybe it is.

I love my family and I love you.

Maybe doesn't mean I like you, but that is okay, we don't have to like everyone.

Personalities clash.

But...I wouldn't turn you away if you were struggling.

I may, selfishly, get a little satisfaction (Yea, I'm still growing) because you have made it known how you feel about me.

But, I don't desire any real harm to come to you.

It wasn't always this way.

There was me before and there this is me now and what came between was Jesus.

 

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

I Need Her Too

My wife is a saint.

With what she has had to put up with and deal with, she should be an angry, bitter woman, but she's not.

And her soft guidance is a quiet correction that has made me a better person.

And we all need correction, especially me!!!

But she has never been overt, it has mostly always been with the gentle hand and it may take time, but she helps me to see the error of my ways.

She lets me vent, calm down, and realize I can do better.

But Maddie...

She just happens to be a little me and it can be frustrating, I am sure for both of us.

I need her too.

Her guidance isn't always soft, it's matter of fact and confrontational.

I need her too.

She doesn't want me to slowly see the error of my ways, she wants it done now.

I need her too.

I don't deserve her, I just don't.

Being the father of her and her brother are two of the highest honors God ever bestowed upon me.

She is a great accountability partner without asking.

I need her too.

I really don't know where I'd be without the soft guidance of my wife and the firm hand of my daughter.

I thank God for both of them.

Because I need her too.

Tuesday, August 13, 2024

How About You?

Do not go to social media and complain about your spouse, kids, family, friends...I mean, you can, it is America and you have the right to, but it is sort of sad.

And man...don't be so vague, if you're going to complain about someone don't leave names and specifics out. 

Get it all out there so we can know all the details.

But it might make you feel better in the moment and most everyone is going to console and soothe you, but there will be those the accusations have been made against and neutral readers who are going to judge YOU for your public judgments.

So, make a blog and vent there.

That's classier, no it really isn't (it's sort of sad too), but people aren't scrolling and reading all your unnecessary drama because I have learned that there are three sides to every story.

Your side.

Their side.

And the truth somewhere in between.

But you have to actually evaluate your own actions and stop playing the victim game especially if you're a middle to older adult.

But that is hard and we don't like hard, I don't like hard because it is painful.

I do often ask the simple question, what would Jesus do?

And I try to live by that, but I don't.

I fail.

And so do you.

But I know I do.

How about you?



Thursday, August 1, 2024

To Be or Not To Be

To be honest, I have not worked in any field other than some manual labor the last 25 years. So I want to get that out of the way right from the beginning.

I also want to get out of the way that I know that teachers can be a whiny lot. We seem to complain about any new initiative or any new change.

But...

We have a teacher shortage in the state of Indiana, and from what I have read, we have one from all over the country.

But today, to show our appreciation...here's some pizza, or you can wear jeans, or you get a card in your mailbox recognizing your birthday.

And those things are nice...

But...

We deal with over 100 children who are represented by hundreds of family members, all who have an opinion about teachers usually coming from their experiences in school.

We deal with each other who seem over worked and under appreciated.

But it is not the students that drive this teacher to the point of retirement early, it's the people who are above me, adding more things to our plate every...singe...year.

I want to research, study and do my job in my class.

I do not need to have students leave school early weekly so I can collaborate, conversations and emails work.

I do not need to do silly "games" when we have yet another meeting that could have been covered in an email.

I do need to be able to use the bathroom when I need to.

I do need some time to decompress each day, more than a ten minute passing period in which it ends up shorter than that because students ask questions and it is the only time ALL teachers can find a bathroom.

I do need more money, if not for me, give it to the younger teachers. 

I do not need to be treated like I am a pain in the ass every year when trying to negotiate a contract.

It used to be that admin and the teachers understood we were in the same boat, it doesn't feel that way anymore.

It feels like "us" vs. "them" and the "them" are doing everything in their power to make sure the "us" are not a happy group of people.

To be fair, I don't understand what admins do or their expectations (weird isn't it?"

But you want to improve morale in a school?

On a day when we have yet another meeting that no one wants to be at or will pay the minimum attention...cancel it.

Give every teacher a $50 gift card to a restaurant.

Give every teacher $25 occasionally.

Quit having so many professional development days where you bring someone from outside into the building. IF you want those, let teachers meet and allow it to organically happen...no agenda other than be better teachers when you leave this meeting than you were before you entered.

Finally, get rid of the sick day vs. personal day to miss school...you make liars out of all of us.