This is in Henryville, Indiana just west of the school on March 2, 2012

It's Been Two Years

 

Well, here we are.  The two year anniversary of the EF-4 tornado that roared through southern Indiana and changed lives permanently.  Where do I start?  It is still overwhelming when I think back about the outreach and giving that so many did for not only the Henryville community, but also in Pekin, Borden, New Washington and all places there and in between that the tornado affected.

Though the aftermath isn't in the news anymore there are still people dealing with the consequences.  Whether it is still dealing with the insurnace companies, receiving money that was donated to your school, or the psychological issues, there are still those dealing daily with the tornado.  Some think we should just "get over it", and I do agree to some point, but people are different.  There isn't a cookie cutter way to "get over it".

It does get better though.  It does.  Your life might not always be the way it was before the storm, but it does get better.  I remember when I went to Indonesia right after the tornado on a mission trip with Athletes in Action.  The pastor on the trip and I were speaking and he said, "you do know, it will get better."  Those words shocked me because I thought the anxiety, panic, and depression were my new life, it never entered my mind that it would get better.  And it has.

I still have people who reach out and thank me for the articles I wrote after the tornado, and how I have been open about the anxiety and issues I have dealt with.  Look, and I want people to know that I felt this way before the storm, but anything good about me comes from my personal relationship with Jesus Christ, so if you think I am doing good things, look to Him because I believe He has the answers.  If you think I am doing bad, well, I accept full responsibility, that's on me.  There are people who regularly realize that they need help (yes, even two years later because everyone deals with something like this differently), and are taking steps forward to get better.

I see what happened that day as a blessing.  I realize that many do not and may never.  They lost their homes, their physical mobility, their innocence, their loved ones or even their lives.  But we got to see so much the good in people and unfortunately, some of the not so good.  Things we would have never seen without this experience.  We got to see that there are things in this life greater than us, yet we can make the biggest difference in one life by listening and understanding.  We lost the innocence of belief that you can go to a school hallway or your basement and everything will be fine when a tornado hits, but we have learned where to go and what to do like never before and have shared that info with others. So many lessons learned...so many.

What would I do differently?  I would slow down that day and remember what happened better. Would I change going through what I have the last two years?  My answer is "no".  What happened that day has made me a better person (you can argue that point, I am sure) and has gotten me to where I am today.  Though I forget too often and pretty much knew before this storm, I now fully comprehend what matters in life. 

People. 

And how you treat them. 

Period. 

Prayers Answered

Before this school year, I had been praying for more help from someone when it came to running our Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  They were answered in that Mrs. Melva Carter has helped with some of the financial and time consuming issues, but He has sent a former student, David Bigelow.

David has been attending recently, speaking devotions and helping to possibly expand what we are doing in the near future.  It is refreshing to see David stepping up like this and helping out.  Prayers have been answered.

Is it Friday Yet?

In the last couple of days, our team has lost a couple of big games; my allergies have taken over; I feel sleep deprived; the cold has returned; my son won't behave; I feel like I am neglecting my daughter and wife; I feel overwhelmed by leading a small group, Sunday school, and FCA; my energy level has dropped and my body is sore all over.  I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for a week, or longer.  I just want to head to Florida and sleep on the beach, or up into the hills and be away from everyone for a couple of days.

Yet, I get to be around young men learning life skills win or lose; I take shots to help with my allergies and their aggravation remind what feeling good feels like; I am awake trying to do so much to help others; the cold reminds me what's it is like to love the warm weather; my son will get past this and it will be rewarding; my daughter and wife will appreciate my time much more than other times, hopefully; I get to be put in charge of leading people through God's word; my energy level will rise again and my body being sore reminds me of what I did as a youth playing sports the only way...all out. 

I still want to crawl into a bed or escape for a few days, but it could be worse....much worse.  It just depends on how you look at any given situation.  It doesn't make it easier, but it helps with my perspective on life which can be very hard.

I am blessed. 

I am blessed for all of the things I perceive as negative because I learn so much or have beliefs reinforced during this kind of time. 

I am blessed. 

I am blessed because I am in the fight every day, usually against the demons that put up obstacles in my path. 

I am blessed. 

I am blessed because I get to feel the anguish of failure, but also the exhileration of victory. 

I am blessed.

It is okay to feel sorry for yourself occasionally, but not every day, all of the time.  Get up, get help if needed, and get moving.  You will be happier in the long run that you di...zzzzzzzzzz.

Come on Coach!

The best coaches, the ones who are coaching for the right reasons are plentiful.  However, there are some that are the worst of the worst.  I am not talking about them. So other than them, at worst, a coach is a narcissistic, selfish, jerk who wants to win at any costs, doesn't care about the players, and is willing to put student-athletes in the worst positions possible on and off the court.  (Ok, so maybe there are some that are the worst of the worst.)  Yet, they still spend considerable time away from their families and can actually teach your child a lot about life (I believe people teach you either what to do or what NOT to do).

The best coaches are selfless...period.  They do everything for the benefit of the student athletes in both preparation for their sport and life.  Most coaches lie somewhere in between these two, I believe.  Meaning that most coaches are doing what needs to be done, win, yet trying to build the character of their players.  All the while spending many hours away from their families.

I have seen coaches be attacked for many things both online and in person.  What I find hard to comprehend is that many parents do not want their child treated harshly by a coach who is, in effect, a father/mother figure.  They are quick to criticize the coach for doing so, yet they are not above speaking harshly about the coach in front of their children.  Both their children who play for the coach, but the coaches actual children, too.  What is really strange, is that these same parents (guilty as charged) will not always speak so well to their own child in public, but that's another article.

But let me spell this out.  A parent who is angry at a coach for speaking harshly at their child, finds that it is okay to speak harshly about the coach in front of the coaches children.  Which of these two things is worse?  The soon to be adult child being confronted is way less worse.  Soon, very soon, that child will be put in a tough situation, it is called the "real world", and mom and dad won't be there to fix every "accident".

Yelling harshly at a coach in front of his children, can put psychological trauma on little children who are a long way from the "real world", and in fact, don't need to be anywhere close to that yet.  Why do that?  Emotion.  We love our children.  We want what is best for them.  We want them to have all the opportunities to be successful.  What I have learned, for me and my family, is that consoling for unnecessary issues, babying, coddling, attacking their coaches at home, and spoiling my child is not what is best for them, and not always providing the opportunities to be successful in their adult lives.  And in fact, by not doing these things (don't get me wrong, I am not a cold, harsh father. I love my children more than life itself and that is why I do this.  I won't be around forever to fix their issues) I am showing a different kind of love.  Maybe even a better type?

It's a tough thing to be a parent and to raise children.  It is the toughest thing I have ever done.  I find it hard to know where that line is to being the loving dad who they know they can run to and hide in my arms, and that dad who has to teach them to be tough.  Because being tough is important in the world.  It is a world that usually could care less if they are successful and there are even some out there who will be glad if they fail.